


The Kiss That Started Everything

by SwanQueen4tw



Category: The Young and the Restless
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Inspired by Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-07 16:58:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16412366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanQueen4tw/pseuds/SwanQueen4tw
Summary: An AU version of the San Fran episode. After returning to GC, Tessa and Mariah find themselves being drawn towards one another more than ever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one has LOTS of angst. Will probably curse my name while you read it. BUT it will work out! It will be worth it in chapter two and especially in chapter three. All of my stories end happily for our lovely ladies. There is a little hetero in this. No sex described. Just a kiss here or there in chapter one. Thank you Teriah8 for letting me brainstorm with you!

_Tessa can tell when I’m lying now. That’s just great. What am I going to do if she asks me something personal? Like how I feel about her. She’d never ask me that. There’s no reason to ask something like that._ I grumbled when the zipper refused to move on my new dress.

          “So, how do I look?” A flirty voice broke through my inner turmoil.

          “Hang on. It’s this zipper.”

“Oh, is it stuck?” Closing the door, Tessa dropped her bag and walked up behind me.

          “I don’t know. I think so and these buttons on top.”

          “Oh, uh, let me.”

          “Thanks.” Cool fingers grazed my lower back as agile fingers took hold of the zipper. Swallowing hard, I shook my hands trying to ease my nerves. “So, uh, I take it things are going well with Noah?” My voice shook. _I can feel her eyes burning into me._

          “Yeah, it’s going great.” As the zipper moved upwards, so did Tessa’s hand.

_Don’t shiver. Don’t you dare shiver. Those fingertips…._ “That’s great.”

          “Yeah. You know, it’s been really important to have this time alone, to move things along. And you know what? Noah’s into the idea of an “us” now.” Brushing my hair out of the way, Tessa started snapping the buttons. “Which is a lot less confusing.”

          _To feel those hands in my hair… Why am I thinking like this? She’s my best friend. And my brother’s girlfriend._ “That’s great.”

          After snapping the buttons, Tessa brushed the fabric smooth. “Done.”

          “Great.” Turning quickly, I looked Tessa over. _Oh, wow. She looks fantastic. I’ve always loved her style._ “I wish my life was that easy to fix.” Looking away, I fidgeted.

          “Oh, is, is everything okay with you and Devon?”

          “Yeah. He’s incredible. He’s the greatest guy ever.”

          “So, what’s the problem?” Tessa knew by now that I wasn’t one to share my feelings. She knew how to draw the information out easily so I wouldn’t just shutdown.

_I have feelings for someone else._ “Me.” Needing to get out of the woman’s gaze, I walked past her.

          Not letting me off that easy, the musician turned to face me. “I don’t know what that means.”  

          “Yeah, I don’t…I don’t either. That’s just it, I…I like Devon so much and I want to get serious with him. I really do…”

          “So, what’s stopping you?” Taking a few steps towards me, Tessa’s worried gaze focused in on me.

          “I’m just trying to be honest with myself.” _I’ve never felt this vulnerable before. I’ve never let myself be this vulnerable before with anyone._ “About who I am and what I want. I’m just so confused.” Feeling myself being drawn in, I turned to walk away.

          “I get why you’re confused. There were times in my life when I didn’t know what I wanted either. Or, when I did and I couldn’t figure out how to make it happen.” As she spoke, Tessa stepped closer to me. “But, Mariah, you’re not alone. And, if there’s anything I can do to help…” Placing her hand on my shoulder, Tessa kept it there. “Just say the word. I’d be glad to do it.” Squeezing my shoulder, she nudged me to turn towards her.

          Glancing down to her hand, I met the musician’s worried gaze. Gently, I cupped the woman’s face. I was surprised when Tessa didn’t move away. Even more so, when she glanced towards my lips. Leaning in slowly, I brushed my lips against Tessa’s before actually kissing her. Feeling warm hands on my back, I kissed her again. I nearly whimpered feeling the tip of a tongue brush my bottom lip. Giving her access, I felt a strong hand on the back of my neck keeping me in place. Coming to my senses, I pulled away. The smallest smile ghosted Tessa’s lips that were now tinted with my lipstick. “I’m so sorry.” Stepping away, I tried not to totally freak out. “I don’t know where that came from. I…please don’t be upset.” Turning back towards the woman I had just kissed, I pleaded.

          “I’m not, Mariah.”

          _How is she so calm about this? I just kissed her. Deeply! The sister of her boyfriend just kissed her! Multiple times!_ “I’ve never done anything like that before. It just doesn’t make any sense. I’m, I’m, I’m so sorry. It…it was like an impulse. I’ve never done something like this before. I’m sorry.”

          “You’ve said that already.”

          “I did.” _Why is she not angry right now?_ “I did say that. I did. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

          Stepping forward, Tessa took my hands in hers. “You need to stop apologizing.”

          Looking down to our hands, my mind started to race in a whole other direction. “So, you’re okay with what just happened?”

          Choosing her words carefully, Tessa sighed. “Mariah, yes, I’m okay with what just happened but-“ Letting her hands fall, she took a step back. “I’m with Noah and you’re with Devon.” Swallowing hard, she forced herself to continue. “We can’t. Like you said, it was an impulse. I mean, we’re here, in San Fran. At an amazing music festival, experiencing things, and connecting. I think, we both, got a little carried away.”

          Feeling my heart break, I forced myself to nod. “Yeah. Yeah, um, that’s exactly what happened.”

          “And we’re both dating great people…”

          “We are.”

          “So, let’s just…put that perfect kiss in a vault and leave it there. Okay?”

          Before I could respond, the suite door opened. “Hey you two.”

          “Ladies.” My brother grinned.

          “Well, you seem excited. Did the meeting go well?” Tessa smiled.

          “Oh, the meeting was fantastic!” He beamed, rounding the couch.

          “Oh, that’s great.”

          “Hey,” I smiled as Devon kissed my cheek. Wrapping my arms around him, I tried not to see Noah kissing Tessa. I looked anywhere but at her beautiful face. Feeling her eyes on me, I met her gaze. A sad smile on her lips. A longing in her eyes.

          The rest of the day was awkward. We paired off and stayed with our boyfriends. At the last set of bands, I told Devon I was feeling ill and that I’d meet him back at the hotel.

          Entering the room, I couldn’t hold back any longer. Seeing the space where I had kissed Tessa hours before caused tears to stream down my cheeks. Changing into something more comfortable, I curled into the smallest ball I could and clung to a pillow. Pulling the covers to my chin, I buried my face into the pillow. _Why do I feel this way about Tessa? I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Especially another woman. What’s wrong with me? That kiss. God, that kiss was amazing. I’ve never felt that alive before. I can still feel her hands on me and her lips on mine._

          “Mariah?” _Oh, no. Not her._ Hiding my face into the pillow, I acted like I was asleep. _Please believe this._ “Mariah…” Defeat was clear in Tessa’s voice. Taking a seat behind me, she placed a hand softly on my hip. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have kissed you back. Especially like that. I just…couldn’t stop myself. I should be the one apologizing.” Clearing her throat, the musician let out a shaky breath. “I never meant to hurt you.” Tessa’s voice was strained. “You’re asleep. You’re not hearing any of this.” Sighing, Tessa must have looked at the clock. “I don’t have much time. Noah and Devon will be back soon. If only I knew how you felt earlier…things could have been different. Would have been different. I’ve never felt that way kissing someone before. Like the world stopped.” Scoffing at herself, Tessa paused. “The world did stop. The second you touched my cheek.” Standing, she tucked the covers in behind my back. Leaning down, the musician whispered. “Goodnight.” Realizing what she was about to do, Tessa pulled away before her lips touched my hair.

Xxx

          Returning to GC, reality hit us all hard. Well, except for Devon. Knowing that Hilary was leaving town soon helped a little. I wouldn’t have to listen to her barking orders for a few days. Walking onto the roof deck, I saw Tessa sipping a water, reading over something. Seeing the woman caused me to remember our kiss. How it felt, how I felt, and what she said later that night.

          Noticing me, Tessa waved. “Hey.”

          “Hey.” Walking over, I took a seat. After ordering my own drink, I noticed Tessa was looking over song lyrics. “Ready for tonight?”

          “No. I’m so nervous!” Groaning, the musician leaned back into the couch. “Can you believe all the famous people we met this weekend? Because I can’t.”

          “I know! And we were on the private jet this morning.” Shrugging, I grinned. “Reality hit me hard, I won’t lie.”

          “Yeah.” Placing the crinkled papers down, Tessa smiled. “Thank you for letting me tag along this weekend. It was truly amazing.” She paused. “All of it.”  

          “There you are!” Hilary approached quickly. “I’m going to New York tomorrow to shoot my national TV commercial. My acting debut.”

          “Oh, let me guess: brooms! They want you to fly on one.” Tessa smirked.

          “Congratulations, Hilary. Don’t worry. I’ll cover all of the show duties while you are gone.”

          “I’ll give you all of the script material. Just remember who’s show it is.”

          “How could I forget?” I tried hiding my annoyance but some still showed through.

          “This isn’t all about where the understudy gets to go on for the superstar and makes the role hers. You work for me. Okay?” With that, Hilary walked off.

          “I have a sudden, uncontrollable, urge to push a certain TV host into the deep end.” Standing, Tessa started after Hilary.

          “Oh, no. Don’t you dare!” Grabbing the woman’s arm, I pulled her back down to the couch. “You can not push Hilary into the swimming pool. Ever.”

          “When you’re not around?” She tried playing innocent.

          “Tessa! I still have to work with the woman.”

Approaching cautiously, the waitress spoke softly. “Ladies, there was a problem with Mr. Newman’s account.”

          “Oh.” We spoke in unison. “Uh…”

          Glancing at the bill, Tessa cringed. “I don’t have that much cash on me…”

          “Yeah, me nether. Let me look…” Both of us rummaged through our purses, trying desperately to find fifty bucks.

          “Oh gosh, reality really is hitting us hard. After that weekend, we come back and have to wash dishes.”

          Placing my last few dollars on the table, I smiled nervously at the waitress. “That should cover it.” Nodding, she closed the bill holder and walked away.

          “Oh my gosh.” Covering her face, Tessa laughed. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

          “Yeah.” I couldn’t help but join in the nervous laughter.

          “Thank you, Mariah.” Taking my hand, Tessa squeezed. “That could have been really embarrassing.”

          “Could have been?” I smiled, feeling warm inside. “You’re welcome. When you become rich and famous, you can buy the drinks.”

          “Deal. Might be a while though.”  

          “Hello, ladies.” Devon bent down to kiss me quickly. _Did Tessa just wince?_ Taking a seat, he studied us. “Is everything okay? I’m picking up on a nervous vibe between you two.”

          “Between us? No. We couldn’t be more relaxed.”

          “Speak for yourself, lady. I’m nervous as Hell. If I seem jumpy, it’s probably because tonight is the most important thing to happen to me and my music apart from you signing me to your label.”

          “Tessa, I don’t want you to be nervous. You’re just doing your thing.”

          “In front of a microphone and mixing boards and a producer.” Tessa fidgeted the entire time she spoke.

          “You’ve recorded songs before…” I tried to ease my friend’s nerves but failed.

          “Yeah, demos on my phone. Whole different league.”

          “It’s the same artistry, it’s the same nuance, same great melodies and lyrics. The only difference, literally, is you’re going to have top notch talent and equipment to capture it. And you’re going to have some of the people who believe in you the most there. Starting with us.”

          “Wait, me? I’m going to be there?” _Can I even handle seeing Tessa in a studio? I doubt it. It’ll make me like her even more._ “You sure that’s okay?”

          “You got something better to do?”  

          “No. I just don’t want to get in the way.” _Great. Now I’m jittery._

          “Tessa asked me to make sure that you came. She actually said the only way she could do it was if you were there to cheer her on.” _She said that?_

          Smiling sheepishly, the musician spoke softly. “A friendly face never hurts.”

xxx

          Entering the studio, Noah and Tessa were already there. I was a little shocked to see that the musician had changed since I saw her less than an hour ago. She wore my plaid shirt with the first few buttons undone just like before. Noticing my stare, Tessa smiled. “Favorite shirt. Well, one of them. When I play anywhere, I try to wear something that makes me feel comfortable or has a meaning to me.”

          “Isn’t that Mariah’s shirt?” Noah’s brow furrowed with confusion.

          “It is. It’s loose on me so it’s comfortable. I traded one of my band shirts for it.”

          “The Halestorm tee, yeah.” _Quick save. Now, I actually have to get the shirt._ “You ready?”

          “As I’ll ever be.” Tessa smiled nervously.

          “Good luck.” Noah gave her a thumbs up.

          “That’s horrible luck!” I swatted my brother’s arm as Tessa walked into the sound booth.  

          “Alright, three, two, one.” Devon gave Tessa the green light as the music played. _So, she feels comfortable in my shirt? I wonder if she’s washed it yet or if it still smells like me? I hope whatever shirt I end up with smells like her. I doubt I’d wash it. What am I thinking? Ugh._ “What’s going on, Tessa? You seem a bit distracted.”

“I’m just…really nervous. Maybe we should…do this another night?”

“Tessa…”

“She can’t hear you. Press down on this.” Devon showed me which of the thousand buttons to push.

“Tessa, I know it’s terrifying getting what you want but this is no different then playing a set in the park or open mic night. It’s just you and the music. You can do this. I know you can do this.”

The fear in Tessa’s eyes changed into something else as I spoke. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly. “Okay. Let’s try this again.” _What’s holding her back? I’m no music expert but she sounds flat. There’s not passion like when she sings in the park or at The Underground._ “Ugh! I’m sorry.”

          “She needs to loosen up and we only have the studio for another hour…”

          “I got this.” Noah started for the door but I grabbed his wrist.

          “Let me. It’s a girl thing.” Entering the sound booth, I smiled. “Hey, what’s up?”

          “I just…” Running her hands through already messy hair, Tessa walked towards the corner. Following, I kept close behind. “I can’t focus.”

          “How well can they hear us?” I kept my voice as low as I possibly could.

          “Just above a whisper and you’ll be fine.”

          Nodding, I tried to pry a little more. “What’s causing you not to focus?”

          “I’ve got so much on my mind.”

          “Like what?” Locking eyes with me, Tessa didn’t answer. “Oh…” _Wait, was that an “I’m late” look or something else?_

          Noticing my panic, a soft chuckle vibrated the woman’s throat. “No. Not… _that_. There’s a reason _why_ I had to change and it wasn’t pretty. If you get what I mean.”

          “Oooohh, yeah. We’ve all been there. At least you were in pants.”

          “A dress?” Tessa cringed.

          “During a live show.”

          “Damn…”

          “Yup. Look, just…focus on something that makes you happy beyond…” I paused, “words are not my friend right now.” _She’s not washed the shirt yet. And she knows that I know._ “Just think about the shirt. Why it make you comfortable and how that makes you feel.”

          A dark brow rose. “Will you be okay with that?”

          “Whatever brings the passion I know you can give.”

          “Thanks.” Hugging me, Tessa whispered. “I’ll think of San Fran.” Leaning back, that same smile ghosted Tessa’s pale lips.

          Exiting the booth, I felt nauseous. _She’s thinking about our kiss. While she’s dating my brother. What have I done?_ The next few takes were amazing. Better than anything she had done to date.

          Noah wrapped Tessa in a strong embrace when she walked out. “Whatever Mariah said really worked! That was amazing!”

          “It really was, Tessa. I think Mariah will need to be at every recording.” Devon laughed. “You okay with that?”

          All eyes were on me. “Yeah, totally.”

Xxx

          After I was done filming solo, I received a text from Noah asking me to meet him at The Underground. He had something he needed to ask me. The entire drive over, I panicked. _What if he found out about San Francisco or what Tessa thought about last night at the studio? She wouldn’t have told him but he’s smart._ Parking, I tried composing myself. _Nothing is going to happen. He and Tessa are happy together. But I swear if this is any type of announcement, I’ll kill them both._  

          “Hey!” Waving me over, Noah poured me a glass of wine. “I have a favor to ask.”

          “What is it?” I sipped the wine cautiously.

          “So, Grandpa and Grandma broke up.” I nearly spewed wine across the bar. “Yeah, that was my reaction too. I really doubt Tessa wants to stay in the house with just Grandpa. I asked Mom if she could stay at the cottage. She said sure as long as it was alright with you. What do you say?”

          “Yeah, sure.” _What did I just get myself into?_  

          “Excellent!”

As if on cue, the dark-haired musician walked through the front door. “Hey, guys.”

“Just the person I wanted to see.” Hugging Tessa quickly, Noah kissed her. “I’ve got good news. Well, hopefully. Since Grandma left, if you don’t want to stay with just Victor, you can stay at Mom’s place.”

“Wow. Really? That’s great. I wasn’t really looking forward to running into Victor at the breakfast table.” Tessa’s attention moved to me. “Are you cool with this?”

“Yeah. Totally. Why wouldn’t I be?” _Mariah, shut up!_

“Great! It’s settled then!”

“What’s settled? Although, I need to speak with Noah first.” So they could speak privately, Nick and Noah went into the office leaving Tessa and I alone.

Leaning against the counter, Tessa made sure the office door was shut before speaking. “Are you sure you’re okay with me moving in?”  

“Yeah. It’ll be you, me, Sharon, and Faith. Kind of like girl’s night every night.”

“That sounds amazing. Like I’m part of the family.” Tessa debated something until the office door opened.

“The Underground is officially a chain!” Noah fist pumped the air like a nerd. “We need to celebrate. Mariah already has wine, what do you want Tessa?”

“Actually, I was hoping Mariah would help me pack and move to the cottage. Victor is scary when Nikki is around. When she’s not…I don’t want to know what he’s like. I’d ask you, but you’re working tonight.”

Rubbing the back of his head, Noah laughed. “Yeah, Grandpa can be rather…difficult sometimes. Do you mind helping?”

“Not at all. Finishing my glass, I started towards the door. “Meet you there.” _I don’t want to see them kiss again. Hearing it is almost just as bad._  

I made record time back to the ranch. I waited outside the main house for Tessa to arrive. I nearly jumped out of my skin when she tapped my window. Opening the door, she laughed. “Sorry. I thought you saw my headlights.”

“No, I didn’t notice them. Ready?” Nodding, Tessa held out her hand to pull me to my feet. “Let’s go.”

As we made our way towards the guest wing, I felt like Tessa was sneaking me into her room. “I really don’t have that much to pack. I just didn’t feel like celebrating.”

“Why wouldn’t you want to celebrate?” I took a seat on Tessa’s bed as she pulled out her duffle.

“Noah’s version of celebrating isn’t wine and popcorn…”

          It took a moment for Tessa’s words to dawn on me. “Ooohhh. Even with…” All she did was nod. “I don’t know if he’s brave or stupid.”

A genuine laugh escaped the taller woman. “Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I like him but, you’re a woman, you understand. I don’t want to be touched right now. I feel bloated and gross. I just want to sit, watch a movie, drink wine, and not be touched.”

“Mmhmm. Kind of like a cat. When you want to be touched you’ll let someone know.”

“Exactly.” Shoving clothes into her bag, Tessa chuckled. “Oh, this is yours.” My brow creased. Tossing me a shirt, she continued packing. “Thanks for the save last night. I didn’t realize Noah paid that close attention to my clothes.”

“I think it’s because there are so many women in his family. And you’re welcome. You don’t actually have to give me this though…”

“Well, it’s only fair. I’m not giving the plaid one back.”

_That half smile is going to kill me one day._ “Well, isn’t it fair that I choose a shirt? You chose that one.”

“Fair enough. But choose when we get back to your place. I’m almost packed.”

“Okay. I think I already have it narrowed down to a few anyway.”  

After packing, Tessa and I made our way back to the cottage. Mom had already gone to bed so I showed Tessa up to the guest room. “Extra towels and stuff are in the bathroom. If you need anything, I have a stockpile of extra toiletries under the sink. Only rule: if you empty it, please replace it.”

“Totally.” Placing her bag on the bed, Tessa began unpacking. “Hey, do you work early tomorrow?”

“No. Why?”

“Wine and a movie?” Tessa shrugged. “I just want to lay in bed with popcorn, wine, good company, and a cheesy movie. I just downloaded this “scary” movie called _Spiders_. It has Lana Parrilla in it.”

“Sure. Let me change and I’ll go make popcorn and bring up a bottle of wine.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about glasses. We can just pass the bottle back and forth.” The musician laughed. “Like heathens.”

“The sarcasm is strong with this one.” I laughed when Tessa threw a pair of socks at me. “Be back in a few.”

Entering my room, it became very clear how close Tessa was. _We’re separated by a wall. Less than a foot separates us at night._ I swallowed hard. _When the most intimate thoughts take hold._ Changing into a pair of lounging pants and a t-shirt, I pulled back my hair. _I can only pray that Noah never spends the night. I couldn’t handle that._

Waiting for the popcorn to finish, I brought down a large bowel and grabbed the wine. _If we’re watching a movie on Tessa’s laptop, we’ll have to sit close._ Biting my lip, I tried not to think about cuddling with the taller woman. _Gah! I shouldn’t be thinking about my best friend like this! Why can I not stop this? And it’s not like she’s helping. Thinking about our kiss when she sang. She’s dating my brother. Why would kissing me bring her joy?_

Reentering the guest room, Tessa looked up from her laptop. Reaching to turn on a lamp, she spoke. “I’ve got everything set up.” Pulling back the covers, she patted the space beside her. “Bring on the wine and popcorn.”

Flipping off the main light, I got settled a few inches from the dark-haired musician. “Ready?” Passing the wine, I kept the large bowel on my lap.

“Not quite.” Holding up the laptop, Tessa scooted so her leg was against mine. “It’ll be easier to get popcorn and pass the wine.” Readjusting her pillow, she settled back against it. “You good?” All I did was nod. “Cool.” Pressing play, Tessa allowed the movie to start.

As it played, we passed the wine bottle back and forth. Every once in a while, our hands would brush when we’d both reached for popcorn. A mumbled “sorry” is all that was said. _I’d die if I was in shorts right now. I wonder what Tessa looks like in night shorts. If that fabric is any indication, they feel pretty short._ The thought caused a heat to rush over me. Glancing over, my breath hitched. _She’s asleep. How did she get more beautiful? I didn’t realize that was possible._ Pausing the movie, I debated finishing. _It’s only got twenty minutes left. I might as well. Twenty more minutes of having her this close._

By the credits, Tessa had shifted against my arm. _Great. Now I have to figure out how to move without waking her._ Looking around, I placed the empty bowl on the floor and finished the wine before placing it into the bowel. Closing Tessa’s laptop, I pushed it onto the small desk near me. _Okay, if I move really slow the bed shouldn’t shift too much. I got this._ I eased my way towards the edge making sure not to disturb the sleeping woman. Sliding down to her pillow, Tessa nuzzled against the pillow I had been leaning against. Realizing she was still asleep, I continued.

“Stay…” I froze. _Did I hear that? Does she want me to stay?_ Looking over my shoulder, Tessa’s hand had reached out towards me. “Cat… ‘member?” It took me a minute to remember our earlier conversation. Against my better judgement, I agreed. Once Tessa’s lamp was off, I slid back into bed. Unconsciously, Tessa snuggled against me, forehead pressed against my shoulder.

Xxx

The next morning, I woke to Tessa’s arm draped across my hip, her face nuzzled into my hair. _If only we could always wake up like this._ Refusing to move, I laid there listening to Tessa’s slow breathing. _We’ll never be together and she won’t always live here so I need to relish these moments while I can. She’s not been here a day and I already dread when she leaves._

Stirring, Tessa yawned. Instantly coughing as she breathed in my hair. Pulling away slightly, the puzzled woman wiped my hair away. She froze realizing how close she was to me. “Shit.” She whispered. “Mariah? You awake?” _Maybe I should see how she reacts?_ “I guess not.” Sighing, Tessa scooted to her side of the bed.

_She’s staring at the back of my head. That same longing is there._ Yawning, I stretched. Rolling to my back, I looked over. _Tessa’s faking it._ “You awake?”  

“Just woke up.”

“Coffee?”

“Please.”

“Okay. Want me to bring it to you?” Sitting up, I continued to work out my stiff muscles.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be down in a few.”

“Okay. Midol is in the medicine cabinet.”

A soft smile graced the woman’s lips. “Thanks.”

Making my way downstairs, I continued thinking about waking up in Tessa’s arms. _I’ve never felt like that waking up with Devon. It’s really nice waking up in someone’s arms and not being poked._ I cringed thinking about it. _I shouldn’t cringe about sex with my boyfriend. Maybe having Tessa so close isn’t a good thing._ Bringing down two mugs, I waited for the coffee to brew.

“Mmm smells amazing.” Walking into the kitchen, Tessa scratched her head. Thankfully, nothing was in my hands when I saw Tessa standing in a t-shirt and short night shorts. _I can’t breathe. What are words?_ Unable to come up with anything, all I did was nod. Frowning, Tessa’s head tilted. “You okay?”

“Yup.” Clearing my throat, I tore my eyes away from the dark-haired beauty. Pouring us each a cup, I fixed my own coffee. “How do you take yours?”

“As dark as my soul.” Tessa’s voice dropped to low octave.

Smirking, I shook my head. “So, creamer with a hint of coffee?”

“Smart ass.” Tessa paused. “Dark almond.” Taking the offered mug, she inhaled the aroma of Italian roast. “Mmm smells like Heaven.”

“What time do you have to report to Devon?” Taking a seat at the table, I sipped the steamy liquid.

“I don’t. He just wants me to work on music. I’ll probably hang around here and play with lyrics.” Sipping her own coffee, Tessa debated something but decided to not bring whatever it was up. An awkward tension filled the cottage. “What are your plans?”

“Have Hilary bark orders at me. Record a show. Probably have dinner with Devon.” I paused seeing Tessa’s face drop. “Unless you want to do something?”

“No. No. I don’t want to infringe on your time with Devon.”

“It’s no trouble…”

“Nah. Don’t. We’ll have plenty of time to hang out now that I’m staying here.” Tessa’s smile didn’t quite dimple her cheeks.

“Can’t wait.”

Xxx

“Hey, beautiful.” Devon stood as I approached the table. “I hope you don’t mind us eating at the club. I just finished a meeting.”  

“Not at all.” After a quick kiss, Devon pulled out my chair. “Thank you.”

“Mmhmm.” Taking his own seat, Devon glanced over the menu. “How’s your day been?”

“Well, besides being bossed around by Hilary, it’s been alright. Yours?”

“Good. We’ve been mixing Tessa’s new song. It should be on the HWG rotation soon. You’ll hear it here and online. How is Tessa doing?”

“Good. She moved into the cottage with me and Sharon. Today she’s just been working on new music.”

“That’s great.” Dinner was filled with mindless chit-chat about work. Before I was able to take a bite of my New York styled cheesecake, Devon dropped a bomb. “What did you tell Tessa to calm her down at the studio? Whatever it was, it seemed pretty intense.”

_Shit. Shit. Shit._ “I just told her to breathe. That she wasn’t going to break the equipment by staring too hard. It’s also a woman thing. That’s all I can say.” _Please, take this as an answer._

Studying me a moment, Devon finally accepted that I wasn’t going to give him anything else. “Okay.” Digging his fork into my cheesecake, I resisted the urge to fight away his fork.

“Devon!” Hilary stormed up to our table. “We need to talk about my show.”

“This can wait. I’m in the middle of dinner.”

“Mariah doesn’t mind. Do you?” Shoveling in a mouthful of the delicious creamy goodness, I shook my head. “See?”

Grumbling, Devon stood. “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time.” Checking my phone, I noticed a text from Tessa.

_Hey, I probably won’t be home tonight. Noah wanted to have dinner at his place… Want to do lunch tomorrow? -T_

“Miss. Copeland, may I get you anything else?”

Glancing towards Devon and Hilary, I spoke quickly. “Another glass of wine, please.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Thank you.”

_Lunch sounds good. I think dinner will be ending soon. Did you get your key off the counter? -M_

_Yes, I did. Thanks! Sorry to hear about dinner. That sucks. Gotta go. See you tomorrow. -T_

_Bye -M_

“Here you are.”

“Thank you.” Turning my attention towards Devon and Hilary, I knew what was coming. _He’s going to leave me here because she needs something that can’t wait. It’s happened before._

Making his way back to me, Devon’s face fell. “I’m sorry, Mariah. I need to go. I’ll have my driver take you home.”

“I’ll catch a cab. Thank you, though.”

“Okay.” Turning to walk away, he remembered to kiss me on the cheek. “Have a goodnight.”

“You too.” Finishing my wine, I scheduled a cab.

Xxx

Over the next month, Tessa and I had fallen into routines. Each week, sometimes multiple times a week, we’d have a movie night either in her room or mine. Whoever got up first made coffee. We would take turns bringing lunch or a caffeine fix to each other. It had become quite apparent to me that I wanted Tessa around more than one should but I couldn’t stop myself from seeing her as much as possible.

One night, as I typed away on my piece about Artists of GC I heard the main topic of my article laugh through the wall. Groaning, I turned on Spotify and tried to drown out the idea of Noah making Tessa happy. _What I wouldn’t do to be the one who she’s laughing with right now at two in the morning._ Sighing, I went back to the piece outline.

_Intro: The newest up and coming artist, Tessa Porter, brings a soulful voice to GC. Her vocal range makes listeners feel as if they’re wrapped in velvet. It can calm even the most anxious of us. Tessa’s talent isn’t just her singing but also songwriting and playing piano or guitar._

Rolling my shoulders, I thought about what else I could say without making it sound like I was in love with the woman. Hearing a familiar ding, I smiled. Picking up my phone, I swiped open the text from Tessa. My heart stopped when I saw the picture inside. It was of her, naked, barely covered by a thin sheet. A devilish smirk playing at her lips. The glare she had with one brow raised caused a fire to ignite deep inside me. _This was not meant for me. She’s been sexting my brother in the next room. What else has she done in there?_ The thought only caused more heat to pool in my stomach. _Granted, it’s probably the same as I’ve done in here…_

Hearing a frantic scramble, I debated getting up. Before I could force myself to move, there was a light knock on my door. “Yeah?” I tried to keep my voice from squeaking.

“C-can I come in?”

“Sure.” Closing my laptop, I wasn’t sure if I was thankful Tessa had put on clothes or upset that she didn’t just slip into a robe. “What’s up?”

“I…um…” Rubbing the back of her neck, the mortified musician looked anywhere but in my direction. “Have you…uh…looked at your phone?”

“I have, yes.” For Tessa’s sake, I tried to stay as chill as possible.

Pale cheeks turned deep crimson. “Oh.”

“It’s okay, Tessa. That’s what adults in their twenties do. I’ve sent you the wrong text when I’ve been texting Devon. I wasn’t fully paying attention and clicked your name verses his.”

“Yeah, but those have just been random messages or cute selfies. Not…what I just sent.” Tessa’s voice was soft and ashamed. It killed me to hear it.

“Tessa, come sit down. I’m sure whatever mood you just had is now pretty ruined.”

“Just a little...” Taking a seat, she still wouldn’t look at me.

Crossing my legs, I leaned forward on my elbows. “Honestly, I’m blown away by the amount of courage you have. It takes an insane amount of self-esteem to send a nude or sexy picture. I could never fathom doing that. Your body isn’t something you should be ashamed of.”

A soft smile played at the woman’s lips. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me feel better. I nearly died when I realized that was sent to you and not Noah. Honestly, I’m glad for the mistake. I wasn’t really comfortable sending it to him. Yeah, I know we’ve…but that’s different. A picture is forever. Not that I think Noah would ever share it but I know without a doubt that you wouldn’t.”

“Yeah. I won’t.” _But I won’t forget about it either._ “Are you going to be okay?”

“I think so. I told Noah that I didn’t take one. I think he went to sleep.” Rage bubbled inside me at the idea of Noah just going to sleep when he didn’t get what he wanted. When I didn’t respond, Tessa finally looked at me. “You have that twitch.”

“What twitch?”

“And your voice is flat.” A slow smile appeared. “Why are you so mad?”

“I…just…I don’t know.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” That smile turned coy. “What’s got you all fired up?”

_The fact that I’m trying desperately not to say “fuck everything” and kiss you right now because I’m beyond sexually frustrated because of that damn sexy as hell picture you accidently sent me._ “Just that Noah went to sleep when he didn’t get what he wanted bugs me.”

“Always so protective.” Glancing towards the clock, Tessa cringed. “It’s nearly three. We better get some sleep. How’s the article coming along?”

“Good. I should be able to finish it tomorrow.”

“That’s good. Well, goodnight. Thank you, Mariah.” Wrapping her arms around my neck, Tessa squeezed.

“You’re welcome.” Reciprocating, I tried not to nuzzle the woman’s neck. _Her perfume. What it does to me. And she’s not wearing a bra. That shirt is super thin. I’m horrible for enjoying this so much._ “Goodnight.” Leaning back, I watched as Tessa made her way towards the door.

Stopping at the threshold, Tessa spoke softly. “For what it’s worth, Devon would be lucky to get a picture like that from you. You’re gorgeous, Mariah. Inside and out.” With that, the taller woman cracked my door and went back to her own room.

Xxx

Since it was Saturday, I shut off my alarm and went back to sleep. Around ten, I heard a soft knock on my door. “Yeah?”

“Coffee?”

“Sure.” Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

Pushing open the door with her foot, Tessa entered. Her hair was pulled back and she wore the same lounging pants and tank top. The musician’s demeanor was calm and relaxed. A much different sight from earlier this morning. “I wasn’t sure how long you were going to sleep for but you said to never let you sleep beyond eleven.”

“Thanks.”

Taking a seat on my bed, Tessa offered me a steamy mug. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Taking a sip of coffee, I allowed its warmth to wake my tired muscles.

“Sleep well?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Once I got to sleep.” She mumbled into her mug. “I think I was up until four.”

“What caused the sleeplessness?”

Shrugging, Tessa held her mug with both hands. “Just…I’m still shocked at how cool you were this morning. I’ve never had friends, especially good ones, so I’m scared of losing you.”

“Tessa,” reaching out, I placed a reassuring hand on my friend’s forearm. “You won’t lose me over a picture. I promise. It’ll take a lot more than that to get rid of me.”

“I hope I never find out what I have to do…”

“I doubt you will.” Finishing my cup, I placed it on the nightstand. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Probably work on music. I’ve got a bunch of song ideas going on in my head. I need to get them down before I forget them. And I think Noah is taking me out to dinner for a date. You?”

“Finish this article, probably go work out at the club… That’s really it. Pretty boring day. Hopefully, Hilary won’t call me in for something.” _Should I offer to leave the cottage? I’m not sure. Not that I want them to…do…that but I definitely don’t want to be around if it happens._

“She’s a real piece of work.”

“She is indeed. Let’s get more coffee.”

xxx

_I must have a thing for being bossed around. First Hilary and now the spin instructor._ Taking a towel, I wiped off the sweat that covered my face, neck, chest, and arms. Walking onto the main exercise floor, I noticed Tessa in the yoga area. _No wonder she’s so fit. I hate yoga but now I want to do it. Same thing with eating broccoli. Why does this woman have this effect on me?_ Not realizing I had been staring, I finally snapped out of my thoughts when Tessa spoke.

“Hey.” An amused smile played on the woman’s lips.

“Hey…” _Oh, God. She can’t look at me like that. Say something!_ “I was just…admiring your fo…technique. You look really Zen.”

“You look hot.” She teased.

“Yeah, that’s me. Hot, sweaty, miserable, and exhausted after fifty minutes of being ordered around by a sadist in a headset to the strains of the loudest EDM music legally allowed in daylight.” As I spoke, Tessa continued her poses. Seeing Tessa’s muscles flex as she moved from Downward Facing Dog into Upward Facing Dog nearly killed me. “Could you imagine anything in the world more enjoyable?”

“You know, I think I’ll stick to yoga. Thanks.”

“Oh, what is this?” Picking up a tattered notebook, I held it with care. “Your inner most secret thoughts?” I grinned knowing all too well that she’s been writing like a mad woman lately.  

“Yeah, in song lyric form.” Tessa paused. “You can look…if you’d like.”

“Really?” All she did was nod. “Okay.” Glancing over the pages, I was astonished. _These are amazing. I thought she didn’t write sappy stuff? Must be about Noah._

“What’s that look? Do you not like it?”

“What?! No! These are…amazing!” The sad pout on Tessa’s face hadn’t changed. “I’m being serious. These are…wow.”

Eventually, she believed me. “Thanks.” A soft chuckle vibrated the musician’s throat. “You’re still burning up. Here,” rummaging through her bag, Tessa pulled out a bottle. “Use this. It’s a mist. It’ll cool you off.”

“Thanks. I forgot mine.” Taking off the cap, I sprayed it on my chest, neck, and face.” When I opened my eyes, there was a hungry look in Tessa’s. Swallowing hard, I gave the bottle back. “Thanks…”

“Welcome.” Clearing her throat, Tessa used the misting bottle on herself before putting it away. _Help! Oh, Lord. She’s fucking glistening! I can’t…_ “You okay?”

“yeah, yeah. I just need a shower to cool off. Over did it a little.” Getting up, I picked up my gym bag.

“Hold on and I’ll join you.”

Turning quickly, my eyes grew a moment. “What?”

That same amused smirk made its way back to Tessa’s face. “In the next stall.”

Xxx

For nearly two weeks, the sexy selfie of Tessa haunted me. Anytime I wasn’t busy working, the image of Tessa would creep into my thoughts. I couldn’t even kiss or sleep with Devon without her coming to mind. And for some reason, I was okay with it.

As I laid in bed, I heard Tessa playing her guitar. She’d stop every few minutes and grumble or rip a page from her notebook. Wondering what was wrong, I shot her a quick text.

_Hey, you okay over there? Lots of irritation radiating from your room. -M_

_I can’t get this song right. No matter how hard I try. -T_

_Hmm. I’m no musician but I know method actors put themselves in the situation their characters are in. Maybe that would help? -M_

_That’s brilliant! Thank you! -T_

_Glad to help. -M_

Soon, Tessa was in her groove. Curious to hear the lyrics unmuffled, I got up to investigate. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t have prepared me for what I saw. Sitting sideways on the bed was a nearly naked Tessa. The only thing she wore was a pair of red bikini-cut underwear. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the angel that sat before me. _I should make myself known. But damn._

“But then you came around me, the walls just disappeared. Nothing to surround me and keep me from my fears. I'm unprotected. See how I've opened up? Oh, you've made me trust because I've never felt like this before. I'm naked around you. Does it show? You see right through me and I can't hide. I'm naked around you and it feels so right.”

_Who’s this song about? She’s so vulnerable and she sounds amazing._

“I'm trying to remember why I was afraid to be myself and let the covers fall away. I guess I never had someone like you to help me, to help me fit in my skin. I never felt like this before.  
I'm naked around you. Does it show? You see right through me  
and I can't hide.”

When the song ended, a content sigh escaped the dark-haired musician. Glancing over, Tessa smiled. “What do you think, Mariah?” It took a moment for her words to sink in. “Mariah?!” Tessa dove for her clothes that were on the floor as I turned quickly.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…I just wanted to hear…” _Shit! Now she probably thinks I’m a creep._

“It’s okay…I should have closed the door. Faith is gone and Sharon is downstairs. I didn’t think you were going to get up so I didn’t bother to close the door. You can turn around now.”  

Turning, I started apologizing again. “I really didn’t mean to…uh…”

“It’s okay, Mariah.” Tessa shrugged with a half grin. “You kinda gave me a big self-esteem boost when I sent you that picture. What you said really stayed with me. I mean, I’m not modeling lingerie or anything but…for myself it helped to hear what you said.”

“Glad to help?” _Her modeling sexy underwear? I think I’d die. Actually, I would die. No question._

“Did you like it?”

“What?” My voice squeaked.

“The song.” A half grin played at Tessa’s lips again. “What did you think I meant?”

“I…I…I wasn’t sure. Uh…the song was…incredible. You really had passion in your voice.”

“Thank you. Being here, it really helps me.”

My brow creased. “Why is that? Noah’s not here.”

The vulnerability in Tessa hardened quickly. Like she decided against what she was really going to say. “It’s quiet here. I can think without being interrupted.”

“Oh, of course.” Nodding slowly, I turned back to walk out. “Well, goodnight. I promise to knock next time I hear you singing.”

xxx

Date nights for Tessa and Noah turned into binge night for me. After eating an entire tub of salted caramel gelato and half a season of Grace and Frankie, I decided to turn in for the night. After turning off everything, I decided to at least leave a side lamp on in case anyone came home.

I had just gotten in bed to read, when the front door opened. Tessa’s laughter rang through the house. _I can only imagine she’s with Noah. And by his laugh, he’s had a few drinks. Lovely._ I dreaded the fact they were coming up the stairs. _Someone, kill me. Please?!_

“Come here, beautiful.”

“Noah,” Tessa laughed, stopping near my door.

“No one’s home. We have the entire house to ourselves…” _Oh, God. Someone’s pressed against my door. I cannot hear this._

“Noah, we’re not alone.” _I guess Tessa saw the dim glow of my lamp from under the door. Thank God!_ “Mariah’s here. Didn’t you notice her caaaarrrrr.” A breathy sigh escaped the woman’s throat. “When we,” she cleared her throat, “got here?” _I’m going to vomit. I am going to puke._

“She’s probably asleep by now. We can be quiet…” From the sound of it, Noah continued kissing his girlfriend.

“Noah.” Tessa warned. “I don’t feel comfortable doing…this…when Mariah is here. Asleep or not. Let me get you some blankets and a pillow. You can sleep on the couch.”

“Downstairs?” Disappointment was clear. “Come on, Tess.”

“Noah, no. I know how you can get. Would you rather sleep in my room and I’ll take the couch?” _He better take the damn couch! Otherwise, I’ll kick his ass._

“No. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Hearing Tessa come back up the stairs, I sent her a quick text. _Thank you for that. Sorry to kill the mood. Next time I’ll stay at the club or something. -M_

          It took Tessa a few minutes to reply. _Absolutely not! I’m not kicking you out of your house. -T_ A second later. _How much of that did you hear? -T_

          _All of it… -M_

_I’m so sorry! I keep embarrassing myself when it comes to you. *face/palm* First the pic, then the song, and now this. Sure you don’t want to run the other way? -T_

_Very sure. -M_ I paused debating on whether I should invite her into my room. _Not sure I want to but at the same time I want her around._ Against my better judgement, I texted. _If you want, you can come chat or something. -M_ I started to panic when Tessa didn’t message back.

          _Let me shower and change first. If you’re still awake, I’ll pop in. -T_

_Okay. -M_

          Settling into my pillow, I relaxed. _I really dodged a bullet. I’d have died if I had to hear them having sex._ The thought alone made me nauseous. Then the guilt set in. _I cock blocked my brother. But he shouldn’t have come here to have sex. He has his own place. Why do I feel happy that I ruined his fun and jealous of him at the same time?_ Scrolling through social media, I heard the shower turn off. Moments later, there was a soft knock on my door. “I’m awake.”

          Pushing open the door, Tessa entered. I snorted seeing her hair wrapped up in a towel. “What?”

          Sitting, I couldn’t help but smile at how adorable she looked. “I envy the fact that you don’t have to dry your hair. If I was to do that…it would be bad.”

          “I’m sure. With all the curls, good Lord.” Crawling in beside me, Tessa got comfortable. Snuggling into the second pillow, she sighed.

          I couldn’t help but snort a laugh. “Are you staying the night?”

          A soft smile tugged at pale lips. “Depends on if I fall asleep or not. It is nearly midnight. Is that okay?” _I want you to. But you were about to have sex with my brother. It would be inappropriate._ Lifting her head, Tessa questioned. “Mariah?”

          “Uh…”

          “I mean, I showered so there’s…” Picking up on the tension between us, Tessa sat to toss her legs off the bed. “Oh...I just…never mind. I’ll go back to my room.” The woman nearly sprinted towards my door.

          “Tessa…” Before I could think of anything to say, she was gone. Groaning, I fell back onto my pillow. _Damn it!_  

Xxx

          The next morning, I waited until Noah was gone to go downstairs. When I finally did, Tessa was sitting on the couch staring at two coffee cups as if they had the meaning of life written on them. “Hey.” The musician jumped a good three inches off the couch. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

          “It’s okay. Um…I think your coffee is probably cold by now. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

          _Something’s really wrong. She’s never sounded this depressed before._ “Thanks. Is everything okay?”

          “No.” Tessa rubbed her face. “Everything’s not okay.”

          Picking up my mug, I sipped it. “What’s wrong?” I kept the coffee table between us.

          “Why did you kick me out of your bed last night?” Hurt and confusion clouded Tessa’s eyes as her voice shook.

          “What?”

          “Last night, you didn’t want me to stay. Why?”

          _This is not going to end well and I need so much more coffee for this._ “Tessa, you were about to have sex with my brother… It would have been inappropriate…”

          “But I didn’t have sex with him. As you know.” Tension started to build in the living room.

          “Are you blaming me?”

          “Of course not! This is your house. I just don’t understand why you felt the need to-“

          “I didn’t kick you out of my bed, Tessa. I just don’t think it was appropriate for you to sleep in the same bed with the sister of the man you were about to sleep with. Especially, because-“ I bit my tongue, hard.

          “Because what?”

          “I can’t. I’ve said too much.” Turning, I started towards the kitchen.

          “We’re not done talking.” Sprinting towards the kitchen, Tessa stopped me. “Because what?”

          I couldn’t stop it this time. “Because I think I’m in love with you!” The mood shifted quickly. Cupping my mouth, I turned away. _What have I done?_

          “You think you’re the only one?” Tessa’s voice cracked. “Mariah, who do you think that poem was about? Or that song?” Refusing to answer, Tessa spoke softly. “What is a soulmate? A soul mate is someone you want to carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did; or when no one else would. It’s like a best friend but more. It’s the one person in the world who knows you better than anyone else. Someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don’t make you a better person you do that yourself because they inspire you.”

          “Tessa, stop…” I couldn’t choke out anything else.  

“It seems to me that the best relationship is the ones that last. Are frequently the ones that are a really good friendship and one day you look at the person and you see something more than the day before. Like a flip has been switched somewhere and the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can imagine yourself with.”

“Tessa…” Tears streamed down my face. _She’s crying too and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her. Tell her everything is going to be okay. But I can’t._

“But it’s not just someone to hold you under. It needs to be someone who can pull you back. Someone who has a strong connection with you. A kind of emotional tether. And no matter what happens you will always love them. Nothing can ever change that.” Tessa paused, clearing her throat. “That’s how I feel about you, Mariah. That’s how I’ve felt about you.” Her voice was a little stronger.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Turning to face her, I lashed out. “Then why did you pick Noah?!”

“Because he’s safe! Because the idea of losing you fucking terrifies me! The idea of loving you, being with you…” Tessa cleared her throat. “I can’t. I’ll…I’ll just go.”

Unable to move, I was forced to watch Tessa run up the stairs. I barely made it to the couch before breaking down. Pulling a pillow against me, I wept into it. 

About an hour later, Tessa started down the steps. I was still clenching the pillow to my chest but I had stopped crying moments before. “I’m sorry, Mariah.” The musician’s voice was soft as she dropped her bag at the front door. Walking towards me, she stopped at the end of the couch. “I never meant to fall for you… Or to cause you so much pain.”

“Don’t apologize for what your heart wants. Even if your brain disagrees.” Clearing my throat, I finally looked in Tessa’s direction. _Her eyes are just as red and swollen as mine. I hate seeing her in so much pain._ “Where will you go?”

“Noah’s. He asked me to move in last night but I dodged the question.”

“I’m glad you won’t be living in your car again.”

“Yeah.” Moving slowly, Tessa surprised me by kissing my cheek. “See you around.”


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a month since Tessa left. I hadn’t spoken to her since and it was killing me inside. Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year and I couldn’t even be happy for that. All I would think of was Tessa. Because of her music label with Devon, I was forced to keep up with the dark-haired musician. She played at The Underground Halloween night and looked amazing in her Joan Jett themed costume.

During the day, it was easier to ignore the pain in my chest but at night it was nearly impossible. Unbeknownst to anyone in the house, most nights I slept in the guest room. Tessa’s pillow clenched tightly to my chest because it still smelt like her. Most nights, our fight played over in my head. What I could have done differently. Why hadn’t I told her how I felt before she started dating Noah? What it would have been like to kiss her good morning and night.

Coming home after a long day, Sharon was waiting for me on the couch. “Mariah, we need to talk.”

Hanging my coat, I had a feeling I knew where this conversation would go and I didn’t want to deal with it. “Can it wait? It’s been a long day.”

“No, it can’t. Please, come sit.” Groaning inwardly, I did as my mother asked. “What’s been going on with you lately? And don’t say “nothing” because I know something has been bothering you. You come home and go straight to your room, you’ve lost weight, “Jesse’s Girl” has been on repeat, and you haven’t mentioned Tessa’s name since she left. Which, every time I try to bring that up, you dodge the question. What’s going on, Mariah?”

Staring at the coffee table, much like Tessa had the day she left, I leaned forward on my elbows. _This is not going to end well. I just got a Mom and now she may disown me._ “I can’t say…”

“Why can’t you? Are you in trouble?” Sharon’s voice became more frantic by the second.  

Covering my face, I sighed. “Not in the way you’re thinking…”

“Then what is it?” She paused, “Mariah, you can tell me anything. If you’re afraid I’ll be upset, I won’t be.”

“You will be with this.” The lump in my throat became painful. “If you’ve heard that song…you probably know more than you think.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mom, please don’t make me say it. I feel bad enough already…”

“Whatever is hurting you this much…I need to know so I can help.”

“That’s the thing. You can’t help. No one can. I can’t stop the way I feel.” Groaning, I hung my head. Running my hands through my hair, I crumbled more laying my forehead to my knees. _I can almost hear the wheels turning in her head. She’s going to put the pieces together._

“Are you attracted to women?” Sharon’s voice was somewhere between relieved and a little shocked.

“Woman.”

“What?”

“One woman.” Leaning back into the pillow, I sighed. “I’m attracted to one woman.”

Letting the new information sink in, Sharon was quiet. “Does she feel the same way?”

“She does, yeah. When we kissed, she never felt more alive.” I scoffed at myself. “But being with me terrifies her.”

“Why is she terrified? Who is she?” Biting my lip, I built up the courage to meet my mother’s gaze. When I did, reality hit her. “Oh…”

“Yeah…”

“So, you’re attracted to Tessa and she’s attracted to you?” All I did was nod. “Did the two of you ever…”

“No. Because she’s dating Noah.” Feeling a headache coming on, I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to relieve the pressure.

“But you kissed? When?”

“In San Francisco.” That moment played through my head as I spoke. “She said we should just leave it in a vault. Never speak of it again. I can’t ask you to lie to Noah about this… His girlfriend kissed another woman while they were dating. All I can ask is that you don’t actively tell him. If he finds out, please give me a heads up. Tessa and I aren’t having an affair. Nothing else happened. She chose him.” A single tear rolled down my cheek.

“Since nothing else happened, I won’t say anything. It’s not my place. What are you going to do about Devon?”

“I have to end things with him. I plan to do it tomorrow.” Sighing, I pulled a pillow against me. “He’s such an amazing guy and I truly do like him but…it’s not who I am.”

“I want to ask you a question but you don’t have to answer it.” Sharon spoke carefully. “Are you in love with Tessa?”

Burying my face into the pillow, I sobbed. “Yes…”

Pulling me into her arms, Sharon rubbed my back. “I’m sorry, Mariah.” I cried on my mother’s shoulder for a good twenty minutes before I was able to compose myself. “I’m not disowning you either.”

“Thanks.” A nervous laugh escaped my throat. “I was a little worried about that too.”

“I could tell.” Cupping my face, Sharon smiled. “I love you no matter what gender you’re attracted to.” Leaning back, I rubbed my face. “Go upstairs and wash your face. It’ll help.”

“Okay. Can I take the ice cream with me?”

“No.”

“Whyyyyyy?” I whined.

“Because I ate it earlier.”  

“Rude.” I glared playfully. “I might just go to bed after I wash my face. I’m drained.”

“Okay. I’ll check on you before I turn in for the night. I love you, Mariah.”

“I love you too, Mom.” After hugging the older woman, I made my way upstairs.

_I feel better getting everything off my chest. I just hate putting Mom in a situation where she has to take a side when it comes to her kids. That cry helped._ As the cool water swept over my face, thoughts about the dark-haired musician crept into my mind. _I wonder how she is. I should probably be angry with her but I’m not. She was hurt too when she left._

Entering my room, I grabbed Goblet of Fire before crawling into bed. Opening the book to where I had left off, a slip of paper fell onto my stomach. “Please read me” was written in Tessa’s hand writing. _I shouldn’t open this. I should just throw it away. Damn it._

_Mariah, you have always been my greatest muse. Nearly every song I’ve written somehow reminds me of you. I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve caused. If I could go back, I would do so many things differently. Not that any of that matters now. On the next page is another song I wrote while thinking of you. This was after you walked in on me singing. That song was how I felt about you when we began being friends and this one is closer to now. I will always love you, Mariah. It kills me that I’ll never have the chance to hold you again. Or even be your friend. I’m sure that bridge is long gone by the time you read this. I fucked up the only true friendship I ever had. One of the things I never wanted to do. Anyway, please read the following page._

_Tessa_

Turning to the next page, I tried preparing myself for whatever fresh Hell could be written.

_Things I’ll Never Say_

_I'm tugging at my hair. I'm pulling at my clothes. I'm trying to keep my cool. I know it shows. I'm staring at my feet, my cheeks are turning red. I'm searching for the words inside my head, 'cause I'm feeling nervous. Trying to be so perfect 'cause I know you're worth it. You're worth it. Yeah._

_If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Guess, I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say._

_It don't do me any good. It's just a waste of time. What use is it to you what's on my mind if ain't coming out? We're not going anywhere. So why can't I just tell you that I care? 'Cause I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it. You're worth it. Yeah._

_If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Guess, I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say._

_What's wrong with my tongue? These words keep slipping away. I stutter, I stumble like I've got nothing to say. 'Cause I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it. You're worth it. Yeah. Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say._

_If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say. These things I'll never say._

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I finished reading Tessa’s words. _She really does love me the way I love her. But why would she choose Noah if she loves me so much?_ Picking up my phone, I scrolled to Tessa’s picture. _I can’t talk to her. Not like this. But I can text her._

_I got your note and Things I’ll Never Say. -M_

_I knew you couldn’t stay away from Harry Potter forever. I hope you’re not angry. -T_

_Am I angry? I don’t know how I feel right now._ Sighing, I typed something so she wouldn’t freak out. _I’m not angry. I’m not sure how I feel right now. But, it was another beautiful song. -M_

_Thank you. -T_ A second passed before another message came in. _How have you been? -T_

_Not good. -M_

_I’m sorry. I’ll let you go. I’m sure you’re not enjoying this conversation. It was nice seeing your name on my screen again. Goodnight, Mariah. -T_

_Goodnight, Tessa. -M_

Putting my phone on the wireless charger, I tried to read. Eventually, I gave up and placed the book on the nightstand. _I know I shouldn’t want to talk to Tessa but I can’t help it. I can’t long for her while I’m dating Devon. Nor can I betray my brother like this._

Xxx

On my lunch break, I decided it was time. Entering Devon’s office, I took a seat since he was on the phone with a producer. “Of course, Miss. Porter has been writing quite a bit. The new demos are on their way to you now. Listen and let me know if you want her to play or not. Thank you, bye.” Ending the call, he smiled. “Hey beautiful. How’s your day been?”

“It’s been well. Who was that?”

“A friend of mine in Madison. He owns a club and wants Tessa to play there. He’s been to a few open mic nights.”

“That’s awesome.”

Leaning forward, the businessman became serious. “Do you know what’s going on with her?”

“With Tessa?”

“Yeah. Her music has changed in the past month.”

_Please tell me she hasn’t recorded “Naked” or “Things I’ll Never Say.” Those are way too personal!_ _She wouldn’t._ “Changed how?”

“Well,” shuffling through papers, Devon handed me a few pieces of paper. “Here’s her latest song. It’s incredible, but different from “With Me” or “Fight or Flight.” Take a look.”

“Okay…” Relief washed over me seeing that they weren’t the songs I had thought. But what I read was much deeper than those.

_So, pull me up from down below 'cause I'm underneath the undertow. Come dry me off and hold me close. I need you now, I need you most. God, keep my head above water. Don't let me drown, it gets harder. I'll meet you there at the altar ss I fall down to my knees. Don't let me drown, drown, drown. Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown. Don't let me drown, drown, drown. Keep my head above water, above water._

_God, keep my head above water. I lose my breath at the bottom. Come rescue me, I'll be waiting. I'm too young to fall asleep. God, keep my head above water. Don't let me drown, it gets harder. I'll meet you there at the altar as I fall down to my knees. Don't let me drown._

As I read, I could hear it in Tessa’s voice. _This has to be about me. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but it can’t be about Noah. Not with these lyrics. Not with the emotion behind the words._

“You’re crying.” Devon studied me. “Mariah, what’s going on?”

“I’ve never been one to beat around the bush so I’ll just say it.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “I need to break up with you.”

“What?”

“Let me finish, please. Otherwise, I won’t be able to say what needs to be said.” All Devon did was nod. “I love you. I really do. But, I’m in love with someone else. You deserve someone who’s going to love you and no one else. I can’t give my entire heart to you because I don’t even have my entire heart. It belongs to someone else and has for a while now.”

Devon was quiet a few minutes. “Is it another man?”

“No…”

“Okay.” Relief washed over the businessman.

“Okay? You’re okay with this?” _I am totally confused. How is he okay with this?_

“I’m hurt. But it eases the blow to know that it’s not another guy. It’s along the lines of: you’re leaving me for something I can’t give you.”

“Thank you for taking this so well.”

“You’re welcome. Before you ask, no this won’t affect Tessa’s contract. Her music is still at the top of the charts. Just keep your girl writing and everything will be fine.”

Blood drained from my face. “M-my girl?”

Devon’s brow rose. “Tessa’s the one you’re in love with. Isn’t she?” I was too dumbfounded to answer. “Your silence speaks volumes. We’ll be okay, Mariah. I just need some time.”

“Okay. Thank you, Devon.” Standing I made my way towards the door. _That went much better than I expected._ Feeling renewed, I decided a caffeine fix was much deserved.

Entering the coffee shop, the smell of fresh brew and baking greeted me. Recognizing the back of Tessa’s head, I turned quickly to walk out. Before I could, Noah called. “Hey, Mariah. Join us.”

Gritting my teeth, I put on a happy face as I turned towards then. “Hey, guys. What are you doing here?”

“Coffee break. Tessa was working on some new music and I wanted to say hi to Mom. Get her opinion about a few things about The Underground.”

“Let me order and I’ll be right there.”

“Okay.”

_Great. Now I have to play nice with the woman I’m in love with while her boyfriend, my brother, sits at the table thinking everything is peachy keen between us._ “Hey, Sweetie.” Sharon smiled. “Your normal?”

“Please. But make it a large.”

“That is your normal.” She smiled. “Coming right up. How’s your day been?”

Leaning forward, I kept my voice low. “I broke things off with Devon.”

“Oh. How did he take it?”

“Actually, pretty well. It helps that I’m in love with a woman and not another guy.” Sharon wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not. “You can laugh. It’s kinda funny.”

“Okay but I won’t.” As I waited, I could feel eyes on me. _Why is Tessa watching me? It’s not nearly as longing as it was before. What’s going on?_ “Here you go and a brownie on the house.”

Laughing, I thanked my mother before walking towards Tessa and Noah. My brother, of course, had an amused grin when he noticed the brownie. “Don’t judge. I rarely get these.”

“No judgement.” Noah smirked playfully. “So, how’s the TV star to be? You’ve not been to The Underground in forever and I’ve been busy. How long has it been? Like a month? I could have sworn you would have come to the Halloween party.”

“There’s no way I’d take over GC Buzz. I’ve just been busy with work. Hilary thinks she can yell at me 24/7 not just during business hours. It’s been rough.” _There’s something off with these two. Noah’s not basically sitting on top of Tessa. Something’s changed between them._

“Yeah, I’m not a fan of her.” Looking towards his phone, Noah jumped up. “It’s about the new Underground location. I’ll be right back.” With that, Noah dashed outside leaving Tessa and I alone. Shoving some of the brownie into my mouth, I tried not to twitch under Tessa’s gaze.

“How’ve you really been?” Tessa’s voice was cautious. “I know you were holding something back.”

“Not, not really. I’ve just been busy.” I paused, curiosity getting the better of me. “You?” 

“I’ve been good. Writing a lot. As I’m sure Devon has mentioned.”

“Yeah, he has. He also showed me your newest song, “Head Above Water.” Tessa, you have to be more careful otherwise Noah’s going to get suspicious and ask questions.”

“Noah won’t ask any questions.”

Narrowing my eyes, I studied the musician. “What do you mean, “he won’t ask questions”?” I paused, “Tessa, what aren’t you telling me?”

“I’m single. Have been for…three weeks now.” My stomach dropped. “From the look on your face, you haven’t heard.”

“No. What happened? You and Noah were happy. And he’s happy now…” _I’m so confused!_

Finishing her coffee, Tessa motioned for another cup. “A week after I left, Noah noticed how upset I was. One night, he asked me what was wrong. I told him I had feelings for someone else. He freaked when he thought I had fallen for another guy. When I told him it was a woman, he was very confused and slightly turned on. Until I told him who it was.” I snorted imagining Noah’s expression. “Yeah, then he felt gross for a while. It took him until a few days ago to get to a better place when it came to me. He doesn’t blame or hate me. You can’t control how you feel and he understands that.”

“How very mature of him.”

Chuckling, Tessa agreed. “Yeah, I know right? Even Noah has his moments. But,” she paused. “The song Devon showed you was written while I thought about you. Later on, with your permission, I’d like to give Devon the other two songs.” The blood drained from my face. “Only if you were okay with it. I’m not going to give Devon anything without your say so first.”

_Word vomit is about to happen. Oh, here it comes._ “I broke up with Devon. Right before I came here. It’s not going to affect your music career in any way. He took the news rather well actually. After I told him I was…” Tessa’s brow rose in question. _I can’t say that. Not now._ “I had feelings for someone else, he put the pieces together.”

“Oh…” Unsure of what to say, the musician bit her lip. “I want to say something but you may not want to hear it.”

Finishing my own coffee, I braced myself. “Go ahead.”

“Mariah, I love you and I’m going to prove it. Like I should have months ago.” Placing her hand on mine, she continued. “I’m going to show you how much I care. Basically, I’m going to fight for the chance to maybe be with you. If you want that.” Tessa paused, panic starting to set in. “D-do you want that?”

Entwining our fingers, I couldn’t keep from smiling. “I do want that.”

“But?” Worry clouded the musician’s impossibly green eyes. “Tell me.”

“It will be a while before we can be together, together. Mainly because we both just got out of a relationship. I don’t want you to be a rebound like I was. Despite everything, you still mean far too much to me to be a rebound.”

“That is the best non-shot down I’ve ever heard.” Tessa’s smile broke when she laughed. “You had me worried for a minute there.”

“Plus, I’m excited to see what you have in store for winning my heart back.” _Back? Like you ever didn’t have it._ “Some grand romantic gesture…”

“Something like that.”

My face fell. “What?”

“I’ve got something big planned. But, you’ll have to wait and see.” Gently, Tessa tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “These lips are sealed.”  

“Are they? Really?” Smiling large enough to cause my dimples to show, I waited. “Hmmm?” _Gah. I feel like we’re picking up almost where we left things before she left._

A slow headshake later, Tessa grumbled. “That’s not going to work this time.” Pouting, I tried again. “That’s not going to work either.”

“Fine.” Giving up, I realized my brother still hadn’t returned. “Wait, where’s Noah? His phone call has been pretty long.”

“There wasn’t technically a phone call.” My eyes narrowed. “I “called” him so his phone would light up. After he answered, I ended the call. He’s been gone a while.”

“This was a set up?”

“A little bit. Noah realized you had been dodging me and wouldn’t be alone long enough for us to chat on your own. So, knowing how much of a caffeine addict you are, we planned to meet here and act like we were talking. After you showed, he’d leave so we could talk.”

“I don’t like being setup but I’ll make an exception this time.”

“Well, thank you.” Tessa flashed her award-winning smile. “I better get back to Noah’s and pack. We finally found me an apartment. Once I’m moved in, I’d love for you to see it.” She paused. “Put your own special touch on it.” Standing, Tessa glanced around the room to make sure no one was paying attention. Taking my hand in hers, Tessa pressed a gentle kiss on the back of my hand. “Until then. Would it be alright if I called you tonight?” 

Snorting a laugh, I shook my head. “You’re acting like a school girl who has a crush.” Tessa smiled sheepishly. “Yes, you may call me tonight.”

Xxx

Over the next week, Tessa did exactly what she said she was going to do. We talked and texted each day. She’d bring me lunch when I was too busy to go out. Or when I worked late, she would come keep me company at the studio. Always bringing coffee of course. As I worked on the show, she’d work on her music. I loved listening to her sing and play. It was relaxing.

One afternoon while Tessa and I were eating lunch, Hilary walked into the breakroom. “Mariah, I need you to find someone to cover a spot for tomorrow. The guest originally scheduled cancelled.”

“Hilary, it’s 1:15 in the afternoon. Who could we possibly get to take that spot on such short notice?”

“I can do it.” Tessa inhaled the rest of her sandwich.

“You can?” Hilary and I spoke in unison.

Looking between us, Tessa nodded slowly. “Yeah, I mean, I’ll have to check with Devon first. But he wants me to be seen more anyway. Especially before I go to Madison.”

Skeptic eyes studied the musician. “Call Devon and make sure it’s okay first. After that, Mariah will prep you for tomorrow’s show.” With that, she walked off to yell at someone else.

“Thank you so, so, so much.” Relief flooded my system. _Wait, that grand gesture Tessa said she was going to do…_

“Let me call Devon and make sure it’s okay.” Dialing his number, Tessa waited. “Hey! Tomorrow’s guest cancelled for The Hilary Hour. Would it be okay if I stepped in?” She nodded. “Awesome. Yes, I’ll mention the Madison tour date. Okay. Bye.” Ending the call, she smiled. “I’m all yours.”

“I thought we established that last week?” I couldn’t help but smirk.

“Smart ass.”

“Always.” _Gah! That half smile is going to kill me._

Xxx

Before the show, Tessa paced the floor in the breakroom. Leaning against the doorframe, I knocked gently gaining the musician’s attention. “You’re going to ruin the floor if you keep that up.”

“I can’t help it. I’m so nervous. I’m playing on national television!”

Closing the door, I went to stop Tessa’s pacing. Stepping in front of her, I took hold of her shoulders. “Look at me.” Meeting my gaze, Tessa tried not to show just how freaked out she was. “You will be amazing. You always are. I believe in you.”

“But what if I mess up like I did in the studio the first time?”

_Ugh! I want to kiss that pout away. Screw it._ Cupping the woman’s face, I kissed her tenderly. A breathy moan escaped the musician as she melted into me. Shaky hands found purchase on my hips. Pulling back, I smiled, slightly dazed. “Think about something that makes you happy. Just like you did then.”

“Remind me to always bring you when I play anywhere. Especially if you’re going to distract me like that.” Taking a calming breath, Tessa let her hands fall. “I need to not do that again until I take you on a proper date. I’m going to do this right.”

“I know you will. But, you needed some motivation.” Tucking a strand of hair behind Tessa’s ear, I continued. “You’re doing an amazing job so far.”

“Thank you.”

Without warning, the door swung open. “Get out here. We’re on in thirty seconds.” Hilary’s eyes narrowed as she looked between us. “Twenty seconds.”

“Guess we better get out there.” I tried easing Tessa’s nerves. I’m not sure if it worked but she put on a brave face.

Taking a seat in my normal chair, Tessa sat in the extra seat to my right. As Gerry counted down, I whispered. “You got this.” A nervous smile made its way to the musician’s face.

“Good afternoon, GC. There’s been a little change in today’s show. Instead of having the fashion icon Pamela Rogers, we’re pleased to present, Miss. Tessa Porter. My co-host knows more about this new artist than I do. You may remember Mariah’s piece about the up and coming artists of GC. That being said, I’ll turn this over to her.”

Panic filled my chest. _I had no idea Hilary would do this to me. I should have expected it._ “Yes, after Miss. Porter preforms a few of her newest singles, we’ll have a Q &A. I have found the most popular questions on social media to ask her along with a few of my own. Tessa, the floor is yours.”

“Thank you, Mariah.” Bringing out her guitar, Tessa took a few deep breathes. “I may have sung in parks and open mic nights but in front of a camera is a whole new, scary, territory.” Smiling nervously, she began. “Why do you look so familiar? I could swear that I have seen your face before. I think I like that you seem sincere. I think I like to get to know you a little bit more. I think there's something more life's worth living for. Who knows what could happen? Do what you do, just keep on laughing. One thing's true, there's always a brand-new day. I'm gonna live today like it's my last day.”

_My heart is pounding. Every time she glances at me with that smile, I melt. This song is about me. How many does that make? Four songs? I can feel Hilary’s smug look._ As the song finished, I had to keep my smile in check.

“Wow. Another great hit!” Hilary spoke in her “host voice.” “What do you think, Mariah?”

_I hate this woman so much._ “It was another great song.”

“Thanks.” Tessa muttered.

“What was your inspiration behind it? It sounds like a “take me back” song.” Hilary smirked knowingly.

“Hilary, I thought I was doing the Q&A.” I warned. Tension grew in the studio.

“Well, “Who Knows” isn’t a “take me back” song, it’s one about new beginnings.” She paused, choosing her words. “As for the inspiration, a very special person in my life. I messed up which was the emotions behind “Head Above Water” and a few others before that.”

“How’s the record deal going? That must be intense.”

A nervous laugh escaped the woman. “Oh, yes. The first time I walked into the studio, I about had a panic attack. I screwed up so much that my cheer leader at the time, had to come in and remind me about the passion behind my music.”

“Is this person your number one fan?” Hilary chimed in.

Glancing towards the TV host, Tessa answered. “I can only hope.”

_I need to break the tension somehow before they fight._ “Do you have any upcoming shows?”

“I do, yes. I’ll be playing in Madison next month. All information is on the Hamilton-Winters Group website.”

“Awesome. Well, that’s all the time we have. Hilary, would you like to sign us off?”

“Keep on Buzzin’ GC.”

When Gerry gave us the signal, Tessa covered her face. “How do you do this every day?”

“You get used to it after a while.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the musician. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Leaning back in her chair, Tessa put her guitar back in the case. “I need a drink. Multiple actually. Maybe a bottle of wine?”

“Why don’t the two of you go to the roof deck? Get a drink on me?” Hilary grinned.

“Uh…” Tessa cleared her throat. “I’ve got my own wine.”

“Maybe you’d like some company…” Dark eyes fell on me. “From your muse?”

“Hilary.” I warned. “We’re done for the day.” Taking my notecards, I left set.

Rubbing my temples, I sat in my dressing room. _What the Hell?_ Groaning inwardly, I sighed. _If Hilary screws this…whatever…with Tessa up, I’ll push her in the damn pool myself._ Hearing a soft knock, I nearly growled. “What?”

“It’s me…” Tessa’s voice was soft. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Leaning back, I brushed the hair from my face.

Walking in, Tessa closed the door behind her. “Can we talk?”

“About Hilary?”

“That was going to be part of it. But the first part was: do you want to join me for a glass of wine and popcorn at my place?”

“Like old times?”

Biting her lip, Tessa stood before me. “No. Not like old times. Mainly because this time,” tucking a curl behind my ear, she smiled. “I can do this.” Dipping her head, the musician captured my lips in a slow kiss. Tangling a hand in silky locks, I tried deepening the kiss only to have Tessa pull away. Letting her forehead rest against mine, she smiled. “As much as I want to, I can’t let that happen until after a date.”

“As infuriating as that is, okay.” I smiled sheepishly. “Does tonight count as a date?”

“Do you want it to be?” Glaring at the taller woman caused a breathtaking smile to appear. “Yes, Mariah. It can count as a date.”

“Good.” Taking the woman’s hand in mine, I met her gaze. “Because not being able to kiss you is kinda driving me insane.”

“Is that so?” A devilish grin tugged at red lips. 

“Mmhmm.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Pulling me to my feet, Tessa led us towards the door. “Grab dinner on the way home?” Stopping dead in her tracks, panic started to set in. Spinning on her heels, Tessa stammered. “N-not that I consider…m-my place your…” Realizing that I wasn’t upset, Tessa smirked. “Okay, stop getting so much amusement from my panic.”

“I can’t help it.” Pushing the door closed, I eased Tessa back against it. “You’re just so damn cute.” Pecking her lips quickly, took her hand. “Let’s go.” I kept a tight hold of the musician as we walked through the GC Buzz studio.

After getting take-out, Tessa and I drove to her new apartment. Pushing open the door, she allowed me entrance. “This is it. My one bed one bath apartment. It’s perfect for me.” The small apartment had wood floors, a small kitchen, equally as small bathroom, and a bedroom big enough for a bed and dresser. It’s only saving grace was that the living room was decently sized and it was on a second floor facing away from the street. “It’s not much but I like having a place of my own for once.”

“It’s really nice.” Hanging my jacket, I took the food into the living room. As I emptied the bag, Tessa opened a bottle of wine and brought two glasses.

“Thanks. Let me get plates.”

“No need.” Tessa’s brow creased. “The boxes Chinese food comes in can be made into plates.”

“No way.” The musician watched carefully as I unfolded each box. “Well, color me surprised. I’ve always just eaten out of the box.”

“I know my way around takeout.”

“I see that.” Handing me a glass, Tessa sat beside me. Pulling the table closer, it allowed us to eat easier. “So, what movie would you like to watch?”

“Hmmm. We can always scroll through Hulu and Netflix to see what looks good.”

Tessa became serious. “I have one request.” My brow rose. “Since we didn’t spend Halloween together, we watch scary movies. If we watch Nightmare Before Christmas, you have to sing with me.” She continued before I could even open my mouth to argue. “I don’t care how bad it sounds. You have to do it.”

“For you, I will.”

“Good.” Turning back to the TV, Tessa scrolled through the movies. “You know, it’s pretty bad when you’ve seen almost all of the scary movies on Hulu and Netflix.”

“Yeah…we have a problem….” Unable to find one that looked extremely appealing, we went for a classic. The uncut version of _Pet Sematary_.

“I read this book waaayyy too young. I think I was like ten. It scared the crap out of me!”

“The book was scarier than the movie.” Leaning forward, I used my chop sticks to get noodles and chicken. Smirking, Tessa tried not to snicker. “What?”

“Show off.” The musician teased.

As the movie played, I found myself being drawn into Tessa. Snuggling into the taller woman, I let my head rest on her chest. Smiling, she wrapped an arm around my shoulders. No matter how many times we’ve seen this movie, both of us cringe when Gage slit Jud’s ankle.

Once the movie was over, Tessa and I cleaned up the food and took the glasses into the kitchen. After placing the dirty glasses in the dishwasher, I surprised the taller woman by wrapping my arms around her from behind. “I’ve had a great night.” Gently, I kissed the woman’s bare shoulder. _I’ve never been happier that she wore this red shirt. It gives me easy access to her shoulders and neck._

“I have too.” Tessa’s voice wavered slightly as I kissed up her neck. “Mariah…” Turning in my arms, the musician claimed my lips with hers. Pulling me close, Tessa guided us towards the couch. We never broke the kiss even when she pulled me down to straddle her lap.

I shivered feeling strong hands move up my sides. Sliding the tip of my tongue over Tessa’s bottom lip, I asked for entrance. Moaning when I finally received it. _I’ve wanted this for so long. It’s better than anything I could ever have imagined. Her hands wandering my body, her lips on my skin…_ Unconsciously, I started a slow grind against the taller woman that caused us both to moan. “Tessa…” I breathed.

In one swift motion, the musician turned the tables. Finding myself on my back, I gazed into Tessa’s eyes with a newfound hunger. Making herself comfortable, Tessa kissed down my neck as I tangled my hands in messy hair. “The things you do to me…” My hips bucked when I felt a nip at my pulse point. Wrapping my legs firmly around Tessa’s, I was determined to keep her in place. A whimper escaped the musician as I ran my nails lightly down the soft skin of her back. Pushing up, Tessa hovered above me. “We can’t go any further than this. It’s only our first date and I want to do this right.”

Cupping Tessa’s face, I smiled. My heart bursting with love and affection for the woman above me. “Okay. But I really don’t want to stop kissing you right now.”

“Okay.” Dipping back down, she captured my lips once more.

I’m not sure how long we made out for but it was glorious. Snuggling into Tessa’s embrace made me feel like I was finally home. Realizing it was nearly midnight, I decided I better get back to Sharon’s before she worries. “As much as I’m loving this, I better go.”

“Yeah, it’s late.” Before walking me to the car, Tessa grabbed my jacket. “You almost forgot this.”

“Nope.” I grinned. “I’m supposed to leave a mark on my girlfriend’s apartment, aren’t I?”

“I like the sound of that.” Closing the door behind her, Tessa walked me out. “Let me know when you get home.”

“I will.” Opening the car door, I kissed the musician one final time for the evening. “I really did have a great time tonight. Even before the impromptu make out.” _It might be dark but I know she’s blushing. Mainly, because I am too._

“That wasn’t planned but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

“Same.” _Ugh. I don’t want to leave._ “See you tomorrow? I can bring lunch by HWG around one.”

“I’ll be waiting.” Leaning forward, Tessa kissed my cheek. “Alright, get home so I can get in the bed. You know I won’t sleep until I know you’ve made it there safe.”

“Yup.”

Since it was so late, there weren’t many cars on the road. Entering the cottage, I saw a note on the table. Picking it up, I read.

_Mariah, staying with Scott tonight. Faith is with Nick. -Sharon_

Pulling out my phone, I shot Tessa a quick text. _Made it home safe. See you tomorrow. -M_

_Glad you made it home safe. Goodnight. -T_

_Goodnight. -M_

Making my way upstairs, I debated taking a shower. _I know it’s late but if I take one now, I can sleep in tomorrow._ Gathering my nightwear, I entered the bathroom. Starting the shower, I set the temperature to my liking. Stripping down, I noticed a small red mark on my shoulder. _Tessa knows I have to be on camera. She didn’t want to mark me where it would be seen._

Stepping into the shower, I allowed the hot water to roll down my back. As I washed, my mind wandered back to Tessa’s apartment. How she kissed me, how it felt to have her weight on top of me, and what it felt like to have her grind against me. Heat pooled in my stomach as one hand made its way south. _I can actually think about Tessa like this and not feel guilty._ Soft moans filled the bathroom as I imagined the dark-haired musician kissing her way down my body. Strong hands cupping each breast as Tessa peppered kisses across each collar bone. Moving downward, those strong hands took hold of my hips.

“Fuck…” Leaning against the cool tile, I whimpered. _God, I want Tessa right now. I want her kissing me, touching me, making love to…._ “Haaaaahhhhhh ffffffuuuuucccckkkkkkk…” Letting my hand drop, I tried calming my racing heart. _I’ve not done that in forever. It always felt wrong. But now, now I can enjoy the blissfulness afterwards. Can I even stand to finish my shower?_ Hearing a familiar ding, I laughed. _Perfect timing, Tessa. Geez._

Finishing my shower, I dried off and wrapped a towel around me. Picking up my phone, I swiped open Tessa’s text. My jaw slacked seeing the musician smirking into her bathroom mirror. The fluffy black robe slid down her bare shoulders. The text read: This one is for you… Goodnight. -T Closing my eyes, I took in a shaky breath. _There’s that heat all over again. Greeeaaattttt._

Smirking, I texted back. _Mmmm… That’s not helping me very much right now. But, oh so very sexy…-M_

_Oh? Is that so? What exactly is it not helping? -T_

_Not sure I should tell you since we’re waiting until our third date… -M_

_Is it something of the sexy variety? -T_

_Maybe…-M_

_Do tell. -T_

Letting the towel drop, I kicked it into my dirty clothes basket. Crawling into bed, I decided to have a little fun. Tapping Tessa’s picture, I waited.

“So, what exactly were you thinking about?” Tessa’s voice was low and sexy. It caused a shiver to course through me.

“I was in the shower thinking about a certain gorgeous musician…”

“And what was this musician doing?”

Letting my fingers spread across my stomach, I felt heat continue to pool between my thighs. _Am I seriously going to do this twice in half an hour?_ “There was a lot of kissing…and touching…”

Taking in a sharp breath, Tessa moaned. “Really?”

_Is she?_ Biting my lip, I had to know. “Tessa, are you…”

“Yes…” Panic radiated from the phone. “Is that…okay…with you?”

“I can’t really say no since I’ve done the same thing… Multiple times…” A throaty moan escaped the musician. “Should I let you…”

“Unless you want to hear this before our first time, yes.” The words were choked as if she was trying desperately to hold on.

“I’ll wait to see it. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

I ended the call before Tessa fell into that same blissful joy I had been in earlier. _So, she thinks of me at night when she’s… Why is that so sexy to me? Waiting for a third date is going to suck but it’ll be worth it._

xxx

          The next morning, I woke refreshed and ready for whatever Hilary had to throw at me. Inhaling the aroma of fresh espresso, I felt at peace. _Things are really going to work out for us. The waiting might kill us but…damn the wait will be worth it._ Biting my lip, I wondered what Tessa looked like when she was in the thralls of an orgasm. _I wonder if her back arches like mine or if she throws her head back. I need to not think about this. I don’t have time for another shower._ Hearing the front door open, I walked back into the living room just in time to see Sharon sneaking inside. “Morning, Mom.”

          The blonde froze. A nervous smile starting to appear on her face. “Hey, Mariah. Uh…aren’t you normally in the shower now?”

          “Took one last night so I could sleep in.” I smirked. “Sneaking in, huh? And here I thought I was the twenty something. How’s Scott?”

          “He’s fine.” Sharon’s voice squeaked slightly. “How did yesterday go at GC Buzz?”

          “Great. Afterwards Tessa and I had our first date.” Taking a long sip of coffee, I continued to stare my mother down. _This is so much fun. She’s freaking out._

          “Did you have a good time?”

          _Excellent time. Multiple times._ “It was really good. Tessa’s doing this right. She’s really courting me.”

          “That’s good. I’m glad things are okay between you and Noah.”

          “Me too. Well, I need to get ready for work. There’s plenty of coffee left for us both.” Walking by Sharon, my grin only grew seeing her mortification. “Mom, it’s okay.”

          “Go get ready!”

          Arriving at GC Buzz, I entered my dressing room. I was greeted by a single red rose, muffin, and large coffee. Picking up the note, I smiled. _It’s from Tessa._  

          _Just a little surprise for you this lovely morning. See you around one. XO -Tessa_

          Once my makeup was done, I walked into the breakroom. Coffee in hand, I was met by a skeptical TV host. The taller woman’s arms crossed as she stared me down. “Yes, Hilary?”

          “Someone is in a rather good mood this morning.” She smirked. “Does it have something to do with Tessa?”

          “It’s none of your business.” Walking past her, I brought out my laptop and started working. _I can feel her eyes burning into my soul. I know she’s going to make this into a segment at some point._

          “You left with her after yesterday’s show. To her place. With wine.” Taking a seat, Hilary continued to pry. “And besides last month, the two of you have been rather…chummy.”

          Closing my laptop, I met my boss’ gaze. “Okay. First off: we aren’t public yet. Second: we’re not a segment for you to broadcast. Third: if you ever even elude to us being a couple on air before either of us are ready, I’ll quit and sue you for slander. Understood?”

          Genuine shock painted Hilary’s face as she eased away. “Understood.” Pointing a perfectly manicured finger at me, she continued. “But listen up, you ever threaten me like that again, you’ll never work in this town again.”

          “Hilary, I’m hated in GC but much less than you.” Opening my laptop again, I started typing. “Now, let’s get back to work.”

          Lunch time finally came and I texted Tessa as I waited for our sandwiches. _Hey, waiting on our order. Thanks for the coffee and muffin. I got super busy and couldn’t message you. Are you at the office or studio? -M_

_Studio. I’ll probably be here most of the day. I’d love for my biggest fan to join me. -T_

_Easy now. Devon and the producing team are there so we have to be good. I do have a funny story to tell you. Well, two actually. -M_

_Damn. Here I wanted to make out in the sound booth. You pressed against the wall…. -T_

_TESSA! Good Lord, woman! -M_

“Is that Tessa?” Sharon’s voice chimed in causing me to jump and drop my phone.

“Shit!” Dread filled me praying my screen didn’t shatter. “I’m scared to pick that up…” Looking away, I grabbed my phone. “Please don’t be cracked. Please don’t be cracked.” Glancing across the screen, I sighed. “Oh, yay. Not broken.” _This is why I keep my phone in a case and have tempered glass._  A deep blush creeping up my neck remembering why I dropped my phone in the first place.

“From that reaction, I’ll take it as a yes.” My mother smirked, enjoying payback for this morning.

“Stop enjoying this so much.” Snatching the bag and drinks, I snickered.

“Bye, Sweetie!”

Entering the studio, I heard Tessa and Devon talking. Waving, I gained their attention. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey, Mariah.” Devon smiled. “Let’s take lunch, like an hour, and get back to it. Sound good?”

“Yeah.”

Before the businessman grabbed his coat, he turned back. “Make sure to ask Mariah about those things we talked about.” Devon paused. “What’s Hilary’s irritation level today?”

“About the normal six out of ten.”

“Great.”

Tessa waited until we were alone to hug and kiss me. “It’s good to see you. And I’m starving!”

Snorting a laugh, I took the food to a nearby table. “What was Devon talking about?”

Taking her seat, Tessa became a little nervous. “Uhm…he heard me singing “Things I’ll Never Say” and wants to record it. I told him I’d need to ask you first. Then the conversation progressed into other songs I’ve done that he doesn’t know about. He wants to record “Things” and “Naked.” The musician paused trying to gage my reaction.

“Would you be singing these on tour in two weeks?” Taking a bite of my sandwich, I tried not to show how much my heart was pounding. _Our relationship would be public knowledge if she did._

“Maybe…probably…yes…” She stammered.  

          Thinking a moment, I threw any fears I had out the window. “God for it.”

          “R-really?” All I did was nod. “Great.” Tessa paused, taking a bite of her sandwich. “You know this will probably out us both, right?”

          “That’s one of the two stories I need to tell you. I got into it with Hilary this morning. Basically, told her if she outs us before we’re ready, I’ll quit and sue her for slander.”

          “Oooohhhh shit. Are you serious? What did she say to that?”

          “She was shocked and then threatened to fire me. The normal.”

          “Who knew I was dating such a badass.” Tessa grinned as she wiggled her eyebrows. “A sexy badass.”

          A squeak-like noise came from my throat. “Wh-what was the other thing Devon was talking about?”

          A soft flush tinted the taller woman’s cheeks. “It was about the tour…”

          “Yeah? What about it?”

          “He wanted to know if the reservation would be for one guest or two…”

          “Oh.” It took a moment for her words to set in. “Ooohh. Huh.” _Yes. Yes. Yes! A thousand times, yes!_

          “I mean, you don’t have to. That’s moving pretty fast. He just offered-“

          “I’d love to.” Tessa’s entire demeanor changed. “I know you want to take things slow, and we can, but by then we’ll have had a second date. The third could be while we’re in Madison.”

          The musician’s eyes narrowed, a grin tugging at her lips. “You just don’t want fangirls to throw themselves at me.”

          “That too.” I deadpanned. Both of us breaking out in a fit of laughter. “Oh, but the second story is about Sharon. I caught her sneaking into the cottage this morning after a night with Scott.”

Tessa nearly spit her drink across the table. “That’s hysterical. Did you give her crap? Please tell me you did. Not much. Just a little bit.”

“Of course! But then she got payback when you texted me while I picked up lunch. Thanks for that by the way.” I smirked while a cheesy grin appeared on my girlfriend’s face.

“I couldn’t help it. You just bring it out in me.” I snorted. “No, seriously. I’ve never been like this with anyone before.” _She’s telling the truth._ “When I’m with you, I have this newfound confidence and it feels…” Tessa thought a moment. “Right? As a songwriter, the fact that I can’t come up with a better word kinda scares me.” She smiled nervously.

“Not to take away from this but I’ve noticed. That picture,” I exhaled slowly as the image creeped into my mind. “The provocative texting…and oh, God the-“

Before I could finish, the main door opened. “Hey, ready to get back in the booth?” Devon studied us, an amused laugh vibrated his throat. “Did I interrupt a conversation?”

“Nah.” Tessa shot me a half smile. “How long until you need to get back?”

Glancing at the time, I debated my options. “I can stay for about fifteen more minutes. All Hilary will do is yell at me for being late.”

“Excellent. A happy musician is a productive musician.”

Smirking at Devon, I faked offence. “Suddenly, I feel used.” I threw away the to-go bag while Tessa hovered around the booth door.

Picking up on the slight awkward tension, Devon shook his head with amusement. “Go ahead.”

“Wha-“ Tessa cut me off with a tender kiss the second Devon’s back was turned. The musician hummed as she strutted towards the booth.

A wholesome laugh escaped Devon when he saw my dazed state. “Damn. You never looked like that after I kissed you.”

“Devon-“

“Don’t apologize. Come watch as your girl kill the songs she’s had in the works.” Standing behind my ex, he gave Tessa the green light. My heart fluttered as she started to sing and play “Things I’ll Never Say.”

“If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight? If I could say what I want to see, I want to see you go down on one knee. Marry me today. Guess, I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say.” Between lyrics, Tessa would smile at me.

_She’s singing to me not Devon or the sound guy. I know it is way too early, but I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. I feel at home when I’m around Tessa. She makes me happier than I’ve ever felt. She makes me feel loved._

“I think I saw it coming.” Devon spoke quietly. Breaking my attention away from Tessa, I gave it to the businessman. “You never looked at me the way you look at Tessa. I think I first noticed it at open mic night. Especially after the music festival. When I saw you holding hands on the roof deck…”

“We didn’t have sex or anything like that.” _Should I tell him about the kiss? I’d rather not._

“I believe you.” The song finished and Devon grinned. “Come say bye to your girlfriend.”

Swatting Devon’s shoulder only caused him to laugh harder. “You’re horrible.” Both Tessa and I flushed. Exiting the booth, the musician looked anywhere except at her boss. “You did amazing.”

“Thank you.” That same awkward tension filled the room.

“Go ahead.” Devon laughed.

“We’ll get used to it soon enough.” Cupping Tessa’s cheek, I kissed her softly. “I’ll text you later.”

“You better.” Winking, Tessa went back into the booth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Songs used: “Things I’ll Never Say,” “Head Above Water,” and “Who Knows” all by Avril Levigne. Another big thank you to Teriah8 (AO3) for letting me bounce ideas off of you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've had a lot of life changes (good ones) I've not been able to write as much as often so I decided to break chapter three into two shorter sections so you wouldn't have to wait for me to finish it. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Three**

Knowing how Tessa gets when she’s in writer’s mode, I noticed she hadn’t been to the grocery store in a few weeks. Being the good girlfriend that I am, I picked up a few things for her. As I approached Tessa’s, I heard soft music playing. Using the spare key, I unlocked the door. “Hey Tessa, I picked up some-“ Everything in my arms dropped when I saw a fully nude Tessa doing yoga in the sun’s rays that came into the apartment. “Tessa! What are you doing?” Shutting the door quickly, I tried looking anywhere but in her direction. “Why…why are you naked?!” _Oh, God. The thoughts I’m going to have tonight. Or from now on. They’re going to kill me._

“I was stressed so I did some yoga.” Sauntering over, Tessa picked up an apple that had rolled across the floor. Swallowing hard, I continued desperately to not look at my very naked girlfriend. “This is my apartment, after all.” Pushing me lightly against the door, Tessa took my chin between her fingers and kissed me hard. Moaning into Tessa’s mouth, I tried deepening the kiss just to have the musician pull away. “Welcome home.”

Before Tessa could walk away, I grabbed her wrist pulling her against me. Getting the deep kiss that I wanted, I tangled my hands in dark locks. Turning, I backed her against the door that I had just been pressed against. One of Tessa’s hands tangled in my hair while the other wrapped around my waist to keep me close. Tearing myself away from the musician’s lips, I grinned breathlessly. “Payback for naked yoga.” Walking backwards, I smirked. “You’re the one who wants to wait…” I teased.  

Shuttering, Tessa braced herself against the door as she watched me pick up the groceries. “I’m…I’m going to go get dressed.” The taller woman sprinted towards the bedroom.

_Waiting is going to kill us. Especially if I walk in on her like this again. I was barely able to stop myself this time. If I would have touched her…or she touched me…_ Heat rushed into my stomach. Needing some relief, I placed the bag of frozen broccoli on the back of my neck. Groaning inwardly, I sighed. _Damn it. This isn’t helping._

As I finished putting away the groceries, Tessa rejoined me. “Hey…”

“Hey.” An awkward tension filled the apartment. “You always did have a really nice technique. At least now I can openly admire your form.” I smirked playfully. _And think about it later…_

Leaning against the counter, Tessa laughed. “That’s the second time you’ve seen me naked. Well, the firs time I was almost naked but it was close enough. If I wasn’t such a gentlewoman, I’d say it’s not very fair that I’ve not seen you naked or almost naked.” A sinister grin played at the musician’s lips as her eyebrows wiggled.

“I sent you that one picture of me in your leather jacket. No shirt or bra.”

“Mmmm, yes. I remember it quite well.” Tessa’s voice had dipped a little deeper. “Those painted on jeans…” I tried not to squirm under the musician’s darkened gaze. _When she looks at me like that, I want to just throw myself at her. It’s not fair._ “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Nope.”  

xxx

Getting back to the cottage much later than I expected, all I wanted to do was change and go to bed. Walking into my room, I noticed a Fenmores’ box on my bed. Picking up a note, I smiled seeing Tessa’s handwriting.

_Mariah,_

_Get dressed. Date number two is going to be romantic with a touch of old-fashioned fun. See you at the club._

_Love, Tessa_

          _This woman._ Opening the box, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Pulling out the dress for a better view, it was a gorgeous, bright red dress with a plunging neckline and slit clear up to my hip. Refreshing my hair, I got dressed. Putting on the silver heels, I stood in front of my tall mirror. The dress fit me perfectly and tied around my neck. _I feel like a goddess in this._ Seeing how long the train was, I laughed. _How am I going to walk in this? It’s so extra but I love it. I wonder what Tessa’s wearing. If it’s anything like this, I may not be able to wait until our third date._

          Calling for an Uber, I packed the silver clutch that was also in the box. As I finished my makeup, the driver called. “Be out in a minute.” With a final look, I descended the stairs and walked out the door.

          Entering the club, I was met by Tessa standing just inside the door. A breathtaking smile came to the musician’s face when she saw me. “You look…beyond words.”

          A soft flush tinted my cheeks. “I could say the same about you. That dress…wow.” The ombre burgundy glitter tulle halter dress stopped just below Tessa’s ankles. Silver open-toed heels pulled the dress together. MY eyes narrowed. “Are those my earrings?”

          “No. Maybe. Not the point.” Tessa laughed. “Are you ready for our date?” Holding out her hand, she smiled.

          “Depends. Can you help me walk in this? It’s so long.”

          A wholesome laugh vibrated the taller woman’s throat. “Of course.” Taking hold of the train, Tessa led us towards the elevator. “I’ve set everything up for an amazing night.”

          “Why are we going to the roof? Hilary said it’s been booked. She was pissed about it all day.”

All Tessa would do was smile until the doors opened. “Take a look for yourself.”

“Oh my God…” A single, candle lit table sat below stringed lights. A bottle of wine had been placed in a bucket along with two wine glasses. Heaters were pointed towards each seat to keep us warm. “Tessa…”

“A candle lit dinner under the stars. Just how you’ve always wanted. I couldn’t wait until it got warm to do this. Hence, the heaters.” Tears rimmed my eyes as I looked from the table towards the woman making my dreams come true. “Mariah, is…is everything okay?”

“It’s perfect.” My voice wavered. “Thank you…”

Taking my hands in hers, Tessa spoke softly. “I want to give you everything you deserve. Sadly, I can’t get every star from the sky or the moon, so this is the closest I could get.” Bringing my hand to her lips, she kissed my knuckles.

          Sniffling, I shook my head. “You are so cheesy.”

          “Only because you make me that way. Now, let’s get this date started.” Leading me towards the table, Tessa pulled out my chair. “Take a seat.”

          Sitting, Tessa poured us each a glass of wine. “The food should be here any minute. I had the chef make sure to bring it shortly after we came up here.”

          “What haven’t you planned tonight?” Taking a sip of wine, I noticed the bottle. “That’s…a hundred fifty-dollar bottle of wine! Are you insane?!” 

          “I told you, tonight is all about you. Every dollar is worth it. You’ve been talking about this wine since our first wine tasting two weeks after knowing each other. I was finally able to track down a bottle. So, enjoy it.” Holding her glass towards me, Tessa smiled. “To us.”

          “To us.” Clicking my glass against hers, I sipped it again letting the taste linger.

          “Isn’t it good?” Tessa grinned knowing all too well I was in wine heaven.

          “That look says it all, Miss. Porter.”

One of the waiters exited the elevator with a cart. Placing a large plater of spaghetti between us, he served us each a healthy portion. “Is there anything else I can do for either of you?”

“No. Thank you, Christopher.” Tessa smiled. With that, he left us alone. Placing a napkin in her lap, the musician caught my gaze. “What?”

“How very _Lady and the Tramp_ of you.” Grinning at the sheer cheesiness, I placed my own napkin on my lap.

“But I’ve not even given you the last meatball yet…” Tessa pouted.

“Or eating a noodle until we accidently kiss?”

“It wouldn’t be an accident.” She winked.

As we ate, Tessa and I talked about work and her tour. The hotel was booked and so was transportation. We would leave Friday morning and come back late Sunday night. She would be doing two shows and a Q&A session. I would cover the events for GC Buzz.

“Before we go to the second part of our date,” Tessa began. “I have something for you.” Taking out a small box, she placed it in front of me.

“Tessa…”

“It’s not a ring.” The musician let out a nervous laugh. “But it’s something I want you to have.” Opening the box, I saw a key. “It’s to my apartment. You’ve already left clothes and stuff there, it’s become like a second home. You already use it…”

“Yeah…” My cheeks burnt remembering naked yoga. “Thank you, Tessa. This means so much to me.”

“If you’re ready, we can go to part two of this date.” Standing, Tessa held out her hand. “Ready for the old-fashioned fun portion?”

Taking the offered hand, I followed as Tessa led us back downstairs. “I think I know what this is and I can’t wait.”

Parking a few buildings away, Tessa and I walked arm in arm to the back of the movie theater. We timed it just right and snuck in just as the movie started. Luckily, it was the newest _Halloween_ movie. Leaning into Tessa, I kissed her hand. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Kissing my cheek, we turned our attention to the screen.

While most people jumped at scary parts, Tessa and I laughed. _Maybe we’ve seen too many scary movies. We find things funny that shouldn’t be._ Glancing over, I noticed a soft smile on the woman’s face as her thumb unconsciously drew lazy shapes on my hand. _I’m so unbelievably happy. Next week we get to be alone together for an entire weekend. I’m way too excited to get Tessa almost all to myself for seventy-two hours._ The more I thought about being alone with Tessa, the more excited I got. _I know she wants to wait and do this right but…she’s done everything beyond any expectation that I could ever think of. I’ll have to wait and see what else tonight has in store for us. I don’t like playing things by ear but, when I’m with Tessa, I’m okay with it._

Leaving before the credits ended, Tessa and I walked back towards her car. “Where to now?”

“Depends. It’s nearly midnight. Most places are closed by now.” Opening my door, Tessa made sure none of the dress would shut in the door. Her eyes lingered on my thigh as the fabric moved. Closing the door, she rounded the car and climbed in. “Where would you like to go?”

“Honestly,” I paused, opening my clutch. “I’d like to go back home.” Pulling out the key, I smiled. “What do you say?”

A slow smile made its way to the woman’s face. “Home it is.” The drive mostly a comfortable silence. Although, I’m sure both of us were wondering how exactly this night would end and how tomorrow would begin.

Approaching Tessa’s apartment, I pulled out my new key. Unlocking the door, I pushed it open. “After you.”

“Now who’s being the gentlewoman?” Tessa teased as she walked inside.

Closing the door behind us, I locked it. Wrapping my arms around the taller woman’s neck, I spoke. “I’ve really enjoyed tonight, Tessa.”

Letting her hands rest on my waist, she smiled. “I have too. Do you need anything?”

“No.” Toying with the hair at the base of Tessa’s neck, I saw her pupils dilate. “All I need is you.”

“You have me.”

“I know.” Lacing my fingers in Tessa’s hair, I drew her in for a kiss. _She’s holding back. But she really doesn’t want to._ Taking point, I kissed her with a little more vigor to test the waters. When Tessa reciprocated the need, I closed the gap between us. _Having my hips against hers may actually kill me. I love these dresses but there’s too much material between us._

“Mariah…” Keeping a tight hold on my waist, Tessa pulled back to meet my gaze.

“I know you want to prove yourself to me and, Tessa, you have. Multiple times. I can see how much you care every time you look at me. Tonight, you said this was like my second home but you’re wrong. It’s not my second home.” _Words are not my friend. I can’t just word vomit all of this._

“Mariah, you have that look again. The blurting things out look.”

Sighing, I laughed. “You know I’m not good speaking my emotions. I’m much better at writing them but I want to say them to you. Even from our first date, this apartment has felt like home to me. It’s not the place that makes it my home, it’s you. Wherever you are Tessa, that’s my home.”

Tears rimmed impossibly green eyes. “Mariah…” The musician’s voice quivered.

“I know you wanted to wait until our third date but…I don’t think we need to. You’ve proven yourself to me. Won me back like you said you would. You fought for the chance to be with me.” I paused letting all of this sink in. “I want our first time to be here in our apartment. Not in some fancy hotel that we will never be able to afford on our own.” Tessa laughed. “And to be brutally honest, if I ever walk in on you doing naked yoga again, it won’t be a sweet, loving, and tender experience like tonight would be.” 

Tessa beamed. “I want our first time to be tender.” Dipping her head, she placed a featherlike kiss on my neck. “Sweet.” Another kiss. “And, most of all,” nimble fingertips ghosted up my spine. “Loving.” Capturing my lips in a searing kiss, the musician let her hands explore my back. “Let’s take this to our bedroom.” In one swift motion, I was in Tessa’s arms bridal style.

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around the woman’s neck. “If anyone sees us like this, they’ll think we’ve eloped.” All she did was grin. “Tessa! We’ve not even made love yet. You can’t possibly be thinking about marriage.”

“Not anytime soon.” Laying me on the bed carefully, the raven-haired beauty leaned in for a kiss but stopped just before our lips touched. “But you are the last person I ever want to fall asleep next to or do anything with.” Unable to speak, I let my actions do it for me. Pulling the woman down, I devoured her lips. I became worried when Tessa stepped away. Leaning up onto my elbows, I watched curiously. “Everything’s fine.” Unsnapping the neck piece of her dress, Tessa unzipped the back. Sliding out of it, she tossed it across the chair that sat in the corner.

My jaw slacked seeing the woman standing in a red lace bra with matching underwear. “Tessa…”

“What can I say? I’m naked around you.” It took a moment to realize where I had heard that before. _Those are the underwear she wore when I saw her playing guitar._ I tried stiffening a laugh but failed. “You know me. When I’m nervous, I crack jokes.”

“I remember.” Standing, I slid out of my own dress. “Nervous together?” Placing my hands near Tessa’s hips, I let them move up to her rib cage as I kissed the woman once more. “Together we’re safe. No judgement. Just learning one another’s body. What makes us tick and what drives us crazy. It’s safe to say, that you already know most of that about me. I never did try to hide it.”

“True…” Letting her fingers trace the cups of my bra, Tessa’s eyes became dark. Shivering, I reminded myself to breathe. “I just don’t know what to do first. I’ve imagined this countless times. Now that you’re standing in front of me…I don’t know.” Dipping her head, Tessa kissed my shoulder, along my collar bone, up my neck, jaw, and my lips once more. Turning me quickly, Tessa pulled me against her as she kissed my shoulder. Unclasping my bra, I let it fall to the floor. Slightly callused fingertips explored my abdomen and came to cup each of my breasts. Squeezing gently, Tessa nipped my pulse point.

Moaning, my back arched causing me to press into her hands. “Tessa…”  _Feeling her pressed against me. Touching me. This is what I’ve dreamt of for months._ I gasped feeling one of Tessa’s hands move south.

“Is this okay?”

“Touch me.” I breathed, whimpering as I felt her fingertips brush between my thighs. _This fabric has got to go._ “Inside would be better.” Slipping her fingers behind the fabric, Tessa moaned feeling smooth, slick skin. “If you’ve ever doubted how much I crave you, here’s your proof.”

“Mariah…” My hips bucked into Tessa’s hand as her fingers explored.

Removing her hand, I turned to face the speechless musician. “Still think we should wait?”

“Such a smart ass.” Guiding us towards the bed, Tessa had me straddle her lap.

Deepening a kiss, I started a slow grind. This time, the fire it ignited in me burned hotter and faster. Kissing down the woman’s neck, I whispered. “Make love to me, Tessa Porter.”

A soft moan escaped my soon to be lover’s throat. Angling us, Tessa pushed me back onto the bed. She wasted no time pulling off my drenched underwear. “My turn.” Stripping away the rest of her clothing, the musician crawled onto the bed. Making herself comfortable on top of me, I wrapped my legs around hers like I had on our first date.

“This time, you’re not going anywhere.” I grinned, cupping Tessa’s face. “I’ve wanted you more than anything.”

“Now you have me.” Dipping her head, Tessa peppered kisses across my shoulders and chest. Painted lips enveloped a hardened nub causing me to whine.

“Why did I say I wanted this to be loving and tender? This is more like torture!”

Looking up, Tessa smirked. “I can always stop…”

Grabbing the back of the woman’s head, I growled. “Only if you have a death wish.”  

“Not,” kiss. “A,” kiss. “Chance.” Making her way down my body, Tessa mapped out every part of me. When she reached the apex of my legs, I flinched. Meeting my gaze, she spoke softly. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just…nerves.”

Leaning up on one elbow, Tessa placed her free hand on my thigh. “What are you nervous about? You can tell me. No judgement, remember?”

Looking away, I felt heat rush to my cheeks. “It’s just…there’s a big difference between a…” _I really don’t want to say “dick” aloud. It’ll kill the vibe._ “And someone’s fingers or mouth…” A breathy moan escaped my lips imagining Tessa’s face between my thighs.

“There is a difference, yes. If you don’t want to continue-“

“NO!” I nearly shot into a sitting position. “No. I do…want this.”

“Just nervous about something new?”

I smiled sheepishly. “You know me far too well.”

Strumming her fingers gently, the musician thought a moment. “Can I kiss your thigh?”

“Yeah.” I watched as Tessa placed a gentle kiss on each of my thighs.

“Can I kiss your hip?” Another nod. My breath hitched feeling a strong hand on my opposite hip. “Can I continue?”

“Yeah…” _I really hope she heard that. I’m not sure I heard it._ Featherlike kisses moved from one hip to the other and gradually made their way lower. Seeing dark hair between my thighs refueled the fire in my stomach. I squeaked feeling the tip of Tessa’s tongue flick. “Oh…God.” Falling back into the pillow, I wasn’t sure what to grab onto when Tessa quickened. Switching between flicks and swirls, I could feel that coil in my stomach getting tighter. “Tessa…” Grabbing the sheets with one hand, I tangled my fingers in her hair with the other. “In…inside.” Feeling her hand move, I shook my head. “No…” A throaty moan vibrated when I tugged at raven locks. Entering me slowly, Tessa curled her tongue sending me over the edge. “Oh, fuck….”

Keeping me still, Tessa pressed her arm across my hips. Another throaty moan escaped the musician as I tugged her hair a little harder than I intended. When I stopped convulsing, is when Tessa slowed her pace. Gently, the woman kissed her way back up my body to lay beside me. “You’re so beautiful.” Brushing stray hair out of my face, she kissed me. I moaned tasting myself on her tongue. Flooded with newfound courage, I rolled on top of my lover. “Mariah…you don’t…” Her eyes grew seeing the hunger I had. “Okay…” Straddling her leg, I looked over Tessa’s slender body. _I’m not sure where to start._ _The end goal is between her legs. That I know for sure. Every fantasy I’ve had is coming true._ Petting my thigh, Tessa smiled. “I’m all yours.”

“Good to hear.” Spreading my fingers along her toned stomach, I gently raked my nails down causing my raven-haired beauty to shiver. “Do you have a preference?”

Taking a steady breath, Tessa sighed. “Whatever you feel comfortable doing. As long as it’s not…that can wait.”

“Not what?”

She paused, unsure of how I’d react. “Not a strap-on. Toys are great in the bedroom but a strap-on is a no-go for me.”

“Oh, thank God!” Leaning back, I cupped my face. Relief washing over me. _That was half of my fear right there._ Hearing a groan, I looked back down at Tessa. “What?”

Dark eyes took me in as her fingers danced along my stomach. “Just seeing you like this…it’s…incredible. And you’re still pulsing against my thigh…”

“When you talk in that deeper tone, I turn into putty.”

“Oh, I know.” A sinister grin played at Tessa’s lips. “Why else do you think I love driving you mad with it.”

“You’re just evil.”

“Oh, no. You’ve not seen anything yet.” Pulling me down for a kiss, Tessa cupped my ass and ground me into her causing us both to moan. “Mariah, I won’t last much longer. You may want to get to it.” Kissing my neck, the musician moaned feeling my hand between her thighs. “Not too fast. I want our first time to last as long as possible.” Bucking her hips, Tessa growled from frustration. “But we do have all night.”

“We do.” I had to quiet a loud moan as I slid two digits into liquid heat. Continuing my ministrations, I moved down Tessa’s body. Flicking my tongue like she had, caused a groan to escape the musician’s lips. Bucking her hips against me, I grazed my teeth over the sensitive bud between Tessa’s thighs. Removing my hand, I buried my face.

“Fuck!” Gripping the back of my head, Tessa guided me to where she wanted me most. Hearing an array of colorful words, Tessa tugged my hair. “Mariah!” Arching off the bed, the musician muffled a scream. Collapsing against the mattress, she relaxed. “That was…beyond words.” Petting my hair, Tessa guided me into her arms.

xxx

The next morning, I woke to the sound of soft humming. _That’s “With Me.” I wonder how long she’s been awake for. I’m so comfortable in her arms. I really don’t want to move. But I know she has to pee first thing in the morning._ “Hey.”

“You’re awake.” Kissing my hair, Tessa squirmed. “Good morning.”

“Go ahead.”

“Thank God!” I laughed watching Tessa sprint towards the bathroom. “Shut up!” Her whine only made me laugh harder. “You’re so mean.”

“It’s out of love, I promise.” Turning to my side, I snuggled into Tessa’s pillow.

“Sure, it is.” Walking back to the bed, Tessa crawled in beside me. Wrapping me in her arms, she faced me. “Good morning.” Closing the gap between us, the musician kissed me.

“Good morning.” I paused. “Did you seriously brush your teeth?”

Realizing she was caught, Tessa gave in. “Yeah…”

“Dork.” Snuggling into the woman, I sighed. “Can we just stay here all day?”

“Sadly, no. You need to go to work and I need to get ready for the tour. Devon wants to touch base about what I’ll sing and how the Q&A will work.”

I grumbled remembering that I’d have to deal with Hilary. “Next weekend will be nice. Hectic, but nice.”

“Very hectic. I’m glad you’re coming with me.” She paused. “Even if it is to keep fangirls at bay.”

Around lunchtime, I needed a break from Hilary. Entering Crimson Lights, I waved at my mother. “Normal order?”

“Yes, please.” Taking a seat, I pulled out my phone.  _At CL for lunch. Can you join? -M_

A moment later, my phone buzzed. _How long will you be there? I’m actually about to leave HWG. -T_

_I can spend the entire hour. I need a break from Hilary. -M_

_Be there soon. Can you have my normal order waiting? -T_

_Of course. XO! -M_

_XO!!! -T_

“Someone looks happy.” Sharon walked over, two orders on her tray. “I figured you’d have company so I went ahead and made Tessa’s as well.”

“You read my mind. I was about to ask you to put in her order too.” Pushing out the empty chair, I smiled. “Can you chat for a few?”

“With you this happy, there must be news.” Taking a seat, my mother was all ears. “Fill me in.”

“Our date was…amazing. Beyond words, actually. When I got home, there was this amazing dress and shoes waiting for me. I met Tessa at the club where she had rented the entire roof deck for us. Dinner was beautiful, corny, and extremely romantic. She gave me a key to her apartment. Afterwards, we snuck into a movie like old times.” _I’m almost vibrating. Ugh! I’ve never been this happy before!_

“Wow. It does sound like a great night.”

“Not great, Mom. Amazing!”

Becoming serious, the older woman leaned forward. “Do you think you’ll move in with her? I mean, you’re going away together next weekend.”

“For a tour.” Sharon’s brow rose. “As for your question, yeah. If Tessa was to ask-“

“Ask what?” Jumping, I covered my face. Squeezing my shoulder, Tessa kissed my cheek. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Uhh…” I stammered. _I can’t tell her what we were talking about. It’s too soon._

Turning her attention towards my mother, Tessa smiled. “Hey Sharon, how are you?”

“I’m good.” Standing, she offered her seat. “I need to get back to work.”

“See you soon?”

“Definitely.” With a smile, my mother left us to talk.

 “What were you two talking about? Whatever it was seemed pretty intense.” Taking the first bite of her sandwich, Tessa’s eyes rolled back. “So good.”

Snorting a laugh, I started eating my own sandwich. “I was telling her about the amazing date I had last night.”

“Oh? Was it that good?” Her brow rose in curiosity.

“A-mazing. The woman thought of everything. She made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered.”

“Sounds to me like you are the only person in the world that matters to her.” Tessa smirked playfully. “What was that last bit about?”

“Uhhh…” _Damn it. I might as well tell her. It’ll come up eventually._ “I told Sharon that you gave me a key to your apartment.”

“Our apartment.” She corrected quickly, causing me to smile.

“To our apartment and asked what I’d do if you asked me to move in.”

 “Oh,” Tessa took a sip of her drink. “You don’t…have to answer right away. I know that’s a huge step. I mean we’re going away on tour next weekend. There’s a big difference between two nights in a fancy hotel verses living together.” As the musician rambled, I couldn’t help but smile. “Why are you so amused by this?”

“Because you’re so nervous. What do you honestly think my answer would be?”

Meeting my gaze, Tessa studied me. “I’d hope the answer would be: yes.”

“Then you have your answer.” I watched as nervous eyes started to shine. “Just tell me when.”

“After the tour?” She tested the waters.

“Sounds like a plan.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a light (very light) BDSM scene. Nothing too graphic. But it is different from what I normally write. Thank you to my Beta reader!

We arrived in Madison after the lunch rush. The hotel was pretty fancy. Not San Francisco fancy, but fancy. The one bed suite had its own kitchenet and balcony overseeing the city. “So, tonight I play at The Boiler Room, tomorrow night at The Thirsty Munk, and a Q&A on Sunday at The Orange Peel.” Tessa groaned. “I’m not used to being the center of attention this much.”

Wrapping my arms around Tessa’s waist, I let my chin rest on her shoulder. Taking the schedule from trembling hands, I kissed the musician’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Once you get in your zone behind that guitar, the world melts away.”

Turning, Tessa smiled. “Like how it melts away when I kiss you?” Closing the gap between us, the taller woman captured my lips with hers. Cupping the back of my head, she raked her nails gently against my scalp.

Moaning into the woman’s mouth, I felt every part of me tingle. “That’s just not fair. You know what that does to me.”

“Mmhmm. I do.” Kissing down my neck, Tessa purred. “That’s why I love doing it.” Pressing her hips against mine, a hand slipped under my shirt between my bra strap and my skin. “We have all weekend together. No interruptions besides the shows and Q&A.”

“You are incorrigible.” I grinned, unbuttoning Tessa’s shirt. “We have to leave the hotel for more than tour stuff.”

“Why?” In one swift motion, my bra was unhooked.

“You are scary good at that.” Running my nails along Tessa’s ribcage caused the musician to shutter.

“I am a woman. Bras are uncomfortable.” Tugging at the bottom of my shirt, Tessa silently asked if she could remove it. Raising my arms, she pulled the garment over my head.

Pushing the dark blue shirt off Tessa’s shoulders, I walked us towards the wall. Pinning the musician’s arms above her head, I leaned into her. “We’re going to have so much fun on this trip.” A growl vibrated the woman’s throat when I nipped her pulse point. “I remember. No marks that can be seen.”

“When did you get this dominant?” Tessa’s brow rose, grin playing at her lips. “Not that I’m complaining. I like this side of you.”

“Since you gave me the courage. You make me feel safe. I can try new things without being judged.” Before I could continue my voyage across The Land of Tessa Porter, there was a knock on the door. “Who is it?”

“Hotel Management.”

“One minute.” Grabbing our shirts, we tried desperately to get dressed.

Opening the door, Tessa, unlike me, hid how flustered she was. “Hey! How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you. Mr. Hamilton wanted me to deliver these. They are your passes for each venue you’ll be attending. The hotel would like to give you vouchers for nearby restaurants that you and Miss. Copeland may enjoy. If there’s anything either of you need, please, call the front desk.”

Taking the offered folder, Tessa smiled. “Thank you very much. It’s greatly appreciated.”

“A car will be here at 8:30 to take you to The Boiler Room.” With that, the balding man left.

Closing the door, both of us let out a nervous laugh. “Oh, geez. So much for no interruptions.” A deep blush burnt the taller woman’s cheeks.

“Next time, we’ll make sure to put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door.” Closing the distance between us, I placed my hands on the top of Tessa’s ribcage. “Now, I’m not done kissing you yet.”

“You’re not, huh?” The musician grinned mischievously.

“Nope.” Smiling, I kissed my girlfriend tenderly.

The car showed at exactly 8:30. Loading Tessa’s guitar in the back, we climbed in. _She’s so nervous._ Taking the woman’s hand, I squeezed. “You’ll be amazing. You always are.”

“Thank you.” Bringing my hand to her lips, Tessa kissed my knuckles. “I can do anything as long as you’re by my side.”

The drive was quiet. When we arrived, Tessa and I went in the back door so she could warm up in peace. “You’ve got this.” Cupping Tessa’s face, I kissed her like I did before every performance. “To keep you motivated.”

“I do love that pre-show ritual.” Humming, Tessa kissed me once more.

“Tessa, you’re on in thirty seconds.” Paul, the owner, popped his head in. “You good to go?”

“Yeah.” Turning her attention to me, she smiled. “Go find a place to sit. Preferably in the center so I can stare at you when I get nervous.”

“As always.”

Going to the main floor, I grabbed the last empty seat. “Alright, ladies and gentlemen. We have a visitor all the way from Genoa City playing in our town tonight and tomorrow. You’ve heard her online and seen her on CG Buzz. Please, help me welcome Miss. Tessa Porter!” The crowd erupted in applause as Tessa walked onto the stage.

Over the next half hour, Tessa played: With Me, Fight or Flight, Head Above Water, Who Knows, and a cover of Teenage Dirtbag. During each song, different fans would yell and cheer her on. None cheered as loud as I did. It became apparent to some fans that I was more than the co-host of GC Buzz. I did take pictures and video for the show, but I did with more care than a friend would.

Before walking off stage, Tessa basked in the crowd’s love. Her smile was brilliant and beamed brighter than anything could. She gave a small nod in my direction asking me to come back stage.

Joining Tessa in the backroom, I wrapped my arms around her neck. “You were amazing!”

“Thank you!” Wrapping her arms around my waist, Tessa smiled. “Having you in the crowd makes me feel so much better.”

“Being in the crowd is nice. Whatever helps you.”

“Why don’t we call in an order to use one of the vouchers, pick it up, go back to the hotel, order some wine, and cuddle? I have a feeling I’m going to crash soon from the adrenaline rush.”

“I have a feeling we’re going to be doing more than cuddling.”

Tessa’s brow rose, smirk playing at her lips. “Any objections?”

“What do you think?”

Xxx

The weekend flew by and Tessa’s second show was even bigger than the first. Since the Q&A was only a ten-dollar admission, and the venue was huge, I was curious to see how many people would show. Tessa was nervous because she wouldn’t be playing, therefore, she wouldn’t have an instrument between her and the crowd. 

Walking around the venue, we were shown where Tessa would sit, where fans would come up to ask questions, and where others would be seated. “That’s basically everything you need to know.” Dave rubbed his hands together. “There will be water on the table with you in case you need it. Even though it’s supposed to snow, I think we’ll have a pretty good turnout. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No. I think that’s it.” Tessa tried not to fidget.

_She’s never been good talking about herself for even ten minutes. Let alone an hour._ “Hey,” taking Tessa’s hand, I kept her from pacing. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll be in the front row taking pictures for GC Buzz. If anyone gets out of hand, I’ll ask a question to center you again.”

“I wish you could be at the table with me.” Tessa looked at the two-seater table. “So many people are going to be here. Talking on GC Buzz was one thing but I at least got to hold my guitar and you were the one asking questions. Hilary would just pipe in every once in a while.”

“You’ll do great.” Pulling my girlfriend into a strong embrace, I nuzzled her neck. “You’ve got this and I believe in you.”

“Thank you, Mariah.”

Like any musician, Tessa brought her guitar just in case. To calm herself, she played a little before the doors opened. It took about twenty minutes for everyone to be seated and Dave to gain their full attention.

“You’ve got this.” Cupping Tessa’s face, I kissed her like I did before any performance.

Humming, the musician smiled. “Love that you can do that now.”

“What? Kiss you before every show?”

“No. Kiss me whenever you want.” After a quick hug, Tessa smiled. “Go grab that front row seat. Not sure how I’m going to last an hour talking about myself but…”

“It’ll go by quickly because you’re talking about music.” With a final glance, I exited onto the main floor. Taking my seat, I pulled out my phone and got the camera ready.

“The time has come,” Dave began. “You may have been lucky enough to see her play this weekend or see the countless videos online. May I introduce, Miss. Tessa Porter!”

Everyone cheered as Tessa walked out from behind the curtain. She took a seat and Dave sat at the end of the rectangle shaped table. “Hi, everyone. Thank you for coming out to see me. It’s truly an honor to be here.”

“We thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to visit. Why don’t you give us a quick overview of your background? Where you’re from, what got you into music, stuff like that.”

“So many questions.” A nervous laugh escaped her throat. Taking a deep breath, Tessa began. “I was born in Chicago. My only source of entertainment was music. Whether it was sneaking into a club when I was a teenager or into a musical. On my thirteenth birthday, my mother got me an acoustic guitar that I had been eyeing for months from a pawn shop in town. I taught myself how to play and read sheet music. I’d play for hours or until my fingers bled. Whichever came first.”

“Wow. Eventually, your fingers became callused, I guess?”

“Yeah. They still are which helps me play if I don’t have a pick. Since I taught myself how to play, I don’t really have a music background. I’d play in clubs and parks when I could. That’s how I started in GC. I’ve always loved indie groups and rock music. Those are the main genres that formed my music.”

“As fans, we’ve definitely picked up on the indie rocker vibe from you. Whether it be how you dress or the way you sound when you play. It’s a perfect mix.”

“Thanks.” Taking a sip of water, Tessa waited for the next question.

“Do you have any new music in the works?”

“I do, actually. A few originals and a few covers.”

“Can you give us a hint? Yes? No? Maybe?” Dave was just as excited as the other fans. I tried not to look too smug knowing exactly what she had been working on.

“Hmm.” Tapping her chin, Tessa thought. “I can tell you that there are a few covers of strong female artists. As for my original works, they’re going back to my indie/rocker roots. Hopefully, new music will be out by January.”

“That’s excellent! Well, we have about forty minutes left. Let’s open the floor to the audience.” A long line had formed down the center aisle.

“Wow. This is passing quickly.” Tessa’s eyes grew seeing the line.

“So, before you ask your question, tell us your name and where you’re from.” Moving his attention back to Tessa, he smiled. “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Hi, my name is Emily and I’m from Florida. My question is: how did you get signed to your label?”

“Wow! You traveled a long way. Well, I played in the park and at the local coffee house. I was hired by a woman who wanted me to teach her grandson. The grandson then ambushed me and signed me up for an open mic night at the local hole-in-the-wall club. From there, I was seen by Devon Hamilton who was starting a music label at the time. He came to see me a few more times before asking me to be part of the Hamilton Winters Group family. Everything moved so fast I didn’t believe it was happening at first. Does that answer your question? I added a lot more detail than you probably wanted.”

“No. No. That was awesome!” Emily smiled before sprinting off.

“Hey, my name is Abbigail and I’m from LA. My question is a little long winded so I’ll talk quickly. At the beginning of your career, it was shown in the tabloids and on gossip websites that you were dating Noah Newman. But recently, he’s not been in the picture. What’s going on there?”

Studying Tessa’s demeanor, I wasn’t too worried about her answer. She seemed prepared for a question like this. But neither of us thought it would come this soon. Glancing towards me, I gave her a slight nod.

“Noah and I dated for a while. He ran the club that Devon saw me in. It became apparent to me that, while I did care about Noah, it wasn’t the same type of care that he felt. After a few events happened, I broke up with him. At first, he was hurt. Understandably. But we’re friends again.”

The next few questions were mundane and simple. Favorite this or that. What do you think about this or that. Easy, lighthearted questions.

Then another redhead showed up. “Playing off of Abbigail’s question about Noah Newman, around the time it seems the two of you split, your music took a turn. Not saying it was for the worst. I loved the new songs! My question is: what caused that change?”

My heart pounded as I looked towards Tessa. _How is she not phased by this? Not that I’m afraid she’s going to out us both but having the “lesbian” label can either help your career or destroy it._

“The simple answer,” she paused, “I fell in love with someone. I can say this openly now because Noah already knows, but, I had been in love with the person for a while. I was just terrified to let myself feel those feelings. The songs I released during that time was more of a message to the person in hopes that they would give me another chance because I knew I had screwed up. Luckily, the person did. Which, as fans, you’ve probably seen the change in my songs.”

“We have, yes. And we love it.” The redhead beamed. “Thank you!” I gave Tessa a quick thumbs up when she smiled in my direction.

“Hey, my name is Jeremy and I’m from Texas. My question is more of a fan theory type thing.” The man was trembling as he stood behind the mic.

“Okay.” Tessa tried easing his nerves with a smile. “What’s the theory?”

“So, some fans “ship” people. Do you know what that is?”

“Like Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.” About a third of the audience cheered. _I’m so glad I forced her to watch that show._

“Exactly! So, sometimes that filters over into the real world too. There’s a fandom called Teriah that ship you and Mariah Copeland from GC Buzz.” I choked on my own saliva causing Jeremy to glance my way. “It’s not as out there as people might think since the two of you have been seen together a lot. In fact, she’s here now. I wondered if you knew about this?”

“I actually didn’t know about that part of my fan base. I’m flattered though. Mariah Copeland is an amazing woman. She actually inspired me to let Devon sign me. She told me that stuff like that actually happens. That when she first came to town she moped the floors at The Underground and now she’s the co-host of GC Buzz.”

Knowing exactly what Tessa was thinking, I stood. “Should we just come clean?” Walking towards the table, I smiled down at the musician.

“I guess we should…” Tessa flashed me a sexy half smile.

Tilting Tessa’s chin upwards, I placed a soft but claiming kiss on red lips. The crowd erupted in an almost deafening applause. Taking a seat beside Tessa at the table, I smiled triumphantly. “Are you going to be alright, Jeremy?”

“Nope.” He laughed. “Thank you both!”

The last few questions were for us as a couple. We kept our answers pretty short because of time and we wanted some privacy. I took Tessa’s hand as we answered questions. Not just because I wanted to but I also wanted the fangirls to chill a little. Some I recognized from earlier that weekend who had flashed Tessa while she sang.  

When time was up, Dave let us thank all of the fans and led us back into the staff-only area. “You guys did amazing!”

“Thanks.” Relief washed over Tessa knowing she wasn’t under everyone’s gaze. “Talking for an hour about myself is exhausting.”

Dave twitched a little. “I gotta ask, was the coming out planned?”

“No.” I took Tessa’s hand in mine. “I knew once the questions about her music shift and Noah came that it might come up.”

“We had a little bit of an unspoken conversation while I was on stage. After the Teriah question, it seemed like the best time. Not only to make the fans happy but to also get it out in the open.”

“Do you think it’ll affect your label?”

“Devon already knows the whole story. He’s part of it after all.” Dave’s brow creased.

“I was dating Devon while Tessa was dating Noah. Noah’s my half-brother. Our story is very complicated.”

Dave’s eyes grew. “I’d say so, yeah. Wow. Well, again, thank you both for taking time out of your busy schedules to come here.” He grinned nervously. “Can I get a selfie with you guys?”

“Of course!” We spoke in unison. Each of us stood beside Dave as he snapped a few pictures to let us pick the best one. Posting it on social media, he tagged us with the caption: kickin’ it with these awesome ladies.

On the ride back, I checked my emails and messages. “Oh.” Tessa’s attention turned towards me. “There’s a bad snow storm in GC. Devon says to just stay here another night or two because it’s heading our way. He’s already booked our room through Wednesday.”

“Oh, well…I’m not against a longer vacation.”

Smirking, I put my phone away. “A longer vacation or having me all to yourself?”

“Both.” Tessa beamed, kissing the back of my hand.

Walking through the door, I dropped my bag on the chair and kicked off my shoes. “That was fun.”

“It was, yeah.” Wrapping her arms around me, Tessa kissed my cheek. “You’re incredible.”

“Why am I incredible?” Swaying with her, I reviled in the feeling of being held.

“Because of how you handled all the fangirls.” Kissing my neck, Tessa whispered. “It was sexy.” Shivering, I tried to turn but Tessa stepped away. “I’m going to shower.”

“W-wait. You’re going to kiss my neck, talk in that sexy voice, and just walk away?”

“I need a shower.”

_She’s up to something. I know that gleam._ “Can I join you?”

“Nope.” She grinned. “Because I have a surprise for you.” With a wink, Tessa turned towards the bedroom and pulled off her shirt. Tossing it back and hitting me in the face.

“Tease!”

“You love it!” Before I could follow, Tessa closed and locked the bedroom door. “Nope.”

“Are you serious?”

“It’ll be worth the wait. Trust me.”

Groaning, I huffed and went to sit on the couch. Editing pictures from the Q&A, I noticed it had blown up that Tessa and I were a couple. Most of the comments were positive but there were a few negative ones. I touched base with Devon and Hilary via email and sent some of the best pictures and video I had.

After an abnormally long time, Tessa finally unlocked the door. “Can you come here?”

“Sure.” Placing my phone on the table, I made my way into the bedroom. I stopped seeing Tessa standing in front of a chair wearing knee high heels and a black and red lace corset set. I stared, mouth gaping open. _Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit!_ Ripping my eyes away from Tessa’s gorgeous body, I met her gaze. Mischief gleamed in her darkened green eyes and a sinister grin played at dark lips.

“Sit.” Unable to speak, I dove for the chair. I watched as the dark-haired beauty sauntered over to her phone. Scrolling through her playlists, she picked one. “Raise Hell” by Dorothy started to play. Turning towards me, Tessa’s grin grew realizing how much power she truly had over me. Prowling towards me, Tessa never took her eyes off me. “You look a little terrified and turned on.”

“Yeah.” My voice squeaked. I jumped when Tessa propped her foot on the chair between my legs giving me a fantastic view.

“Remember when I said toys could be fun?” All I did was nod. Slowly, Tessa ran a hand from her ankle to the top of her boot pulling out a small riding crop. “They can make foreplay quite fun.” Getting my attention, Tessa tilted my chin upwards with the end of said riding crop. “Ready to have some fun?”

Nodding vigorously, I answered. “Yes.”

“Good.” The next song was “Kill of the Night” by Gin Wigmore. _I’m going to die…_ “I’m going to lure you into the dark. My cold desire. To hear the boom, boom, boom of your heart.” As she sang, Tessa ran her hand along me as she circled the chair. “The danger is, I’m dangerous. And I might just tear you apart.” Leaning down beside my ear, she whispered. “Now you’re mine. But what do I do with you?” Clicking her teeth, Tessa walked away.

_I know she heard me whimper. God. That look says it all. I want her to touch me. I don’t care where. I just want her hands on me NOW!_ Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long. “Wicked Ones” by Dorothy was next on the list.

The chair was just big enough for Tessa to put one knee on either side of my legs. I trembled as she ran her hands along my arms, down my chest, and back up to tangle in my hair. Tugging, Tessa made me meet her gaze. “Enjoying yourself so far?” A simple nod was all I could manage. “I want an answer, Mariah.” She demanded.

“Yes.” The single word cracked.

“Good. If you answer, the more I do.” Dipping her head, Tessa acted as if she was going to kiss me just to pull away right before our lips touched. “I know you want to touch me but not yet. I’ll tell you when you’re allowed. Understood?”

“Yes.”

With a smile that dripped seduction, Tessa began moving her hips slowly. She used my shoulders as support. The corset lifted her breasts and the musician was in the perfect position to put them in my face. _I want to kiss her chest so badly but I’m not allowed to touch. When did I ever let a lover tell me what to do? I’ve never given anyone this power before. But I’ve given it so willingly to Tessa._

Tangling one hand in my hair, Tessa tilted my head. Dipping hers, she kissed my heated skin. Whimpering, I leaned forward quickly to place my hands behind me. “Someone’s being very good.” Nipping my neck, the musician chuckled darkly. “Am I driving you crazy?”

“Yesssss.” I whined.

“Do you want to touch me?”

“Fuck yes…” My back arched into Tessa’s hand as she brushed her fingertips along my chest. Never quite touching where I wanted her.

“Be patient. Trust me, I want to throw you on that bed just as bad as you do.” Grinding against me harder, Tessa moaned into my neck before raking her teeth along my shoulder. “I do want your shirt off…”

“Just rip it. Please, Tessa. I have five button-down shirts. Just fucking rip it.”

A dangerous smile tugged at dark lips as the musician leaned back. Taking hold of the fabric, Tessa pulled hard. Buttons flew across the room. “Mmm I always have loved this bra.” Hooking her fingers between the cups, Tessa pulled me forward, crashing her lips into mine. Something between a moan and a whine escaped my throat when my hips bucked and hit Tessa. Moving to my ear, Tessa whispered. “You’ve got quite the mouth, Miss. Copeland.” She paused. “But something tells me that’s not the last time you’ll cuss tonight.” Letting her voice trail off, Tessa stood.

“Tessa…”

Walking behind me, Tessa spoke. “No need to panic. I won’t leave you.” Leaning down, she kissed my cheek. “I know what you did the night you saw me naked playing guitar.” _Oh shit._ “I won’t lie; you weren’t the only one who enjoyed themselves that night.” I reviled in the fact Tessa was finally touching me. Her hands moved slowly down my arms as she kissed my neck. “Hearing your soft moans and whimpers killed me. I tried to resist, I really did. But when I heard my name tumble from your lips…I needed relief.” One hand made its way down my stomach to unbutton my jeans. “Where you thinking of me naked on the bed or were you thinking of the selfie? I know you didn’t erase it.” Slowly, Tessa ran the tip of her tongue along the shell of my ear. 

I gasped when Tessa’s hand slid into my underwear to cup me. “Tessa…please…” _I can’t handle much more of this._

“You’re so wet…” Gently, two fingers pushed into me causing my head to fall back. I growled when she retracted her hand.

“Easy now.” Circling the chair, she continued. “I can’t have you coming undone too soon.” Keeping eye contact, Tessa cleaned her fingers.

“Jesus…”

“Just wait. We’re not done yet.” Kneeling, Tessa hooked her fingers into my waistband. “Up.” Doing as I was told, I raised my hips allowing Tessa to pull my jeans off. “Much better.” Tilting my chin upwards, the musician captured my lips in a hard kiss. Willingly, I gave her tongue access. Straightening her posture, Tessa took the riding crop back out of her boot. “The things I’m going to do tonight…” Running the crop up the inside of my right leg until it almost touched my center, she purred. “Will have you screaming my name. Are you okay with that?”

“Yes.”   

“Stand.” Bolting forward, I nearly lost my balance. _I’ve never gotten to my feet this quickly in my life._ “Take off your bra.” I obeyed tossing it to the ground. Tessa stepped around me getting a full view, the crop grazing my skin. “Take off your very drenched underwear…slowly.” Doing as I was told, I pulled the fabric down my legs as slowly as possible. _Her eyes are burning into me. God. I’ve never been this turned on in my life._ Kicking them to the side, I waited. Feeling leather pop against my leg caused me to gasp. More liquid heat formed between my thighs. _She’s going to kill me. If she even touches me I think I’ll combust._ Stepping behind me, Tessa placed her hands on my hips. “You’re beautiful, Mariah.” Kissing my shoulder, she pushed the hair away from my neck. “So, fucking beautiful.” Peppering kisses up my neck to my ear. “How badly do you want me to finish you?” She cupped each breast with equal pressure.  

Arching into her touch, I whimpered. “I can’t handle this much longer. Take me.” I pleaded.

Wrapping her arms around me lovingly, Tessa kissed my hair. “Do you want this to be loving and tender or what you had in mind if you were to walk in on me doing yoga again?”

I moaned remembering our conversation. “Is that what caused you to do all of this?”

“I want to make you happy. You can always say “stop” and I will.”

“Don’t stop. I trust you.”

“Very well.” Running her hands down my arms, Tessa took hold of my hips. Quickly, she turned and pushed me against the bed.

I shivered feeling the leather patch run along my heated skin. Up my leg, over my ass, up one side of my back, and down the other. I yelped feeling it smack one of my cheeks, leaving a pleasurable sting. “Fuck…”

Pressing herself against me, Tessa nipped my ear. “Your body has always been so responsive to me. With one look you go up in flames. Not saying you don’t have the same effect on me, I can just hide it better.” Leaning back, Tessa let her nails rake slowly down my back. Shuttering, I buried my face in the covers letting out a frustrated groan. “Not much longer, I promise.” Teasing me with the riding crop, she continued. “The anticipation of a mind-blowing orgasm after this much build up…” Fingertips played along my spine. “Will be glorious.” Taking hold of one hip, Tessa’s other hand slid across my stomach and down between my legs. “Ready?”

“Fuck me.” My wish was soon granted. In one swift motion, Tessa thrust her hips hard against me. Moaning, I fisted my hands into the blanket. With each thrust, her fingers went deeper. Short nails dug into my hip. _I need one more thing and I’ll be done for._ “Bite me.” One final thrust, curling fingers, and teeth sinking into my shoulder pushed me over the edge. “TESSA! FUCK!” Screaming my lover’s name along with other obscenities, the floor fell out from under me. Shoving any amount of cover into my mouth, I rode out the waves of my orgasm. Coming down from my world crashing, I turned bracing myself against the bed. “Can I touch you now?” I breathed.

A soft chuckle escaped Tessa’s throat as she stood before me. All the primal sexual tension in the room had faded. “I’m all yours.”

The dominant Tessa was replaced by the loving one and yet I found her just as irresistible. Lunging forward, I grabbed the woman’s hips and threw her on the bed. Before she could react, I was already pulling down the equally as drenched lace. “Tessa….”

“I said you had the same effect on me.” Meeting her gaze, she answered my unspoken question with a nod. Kissing her inner thigh, I dragged my tongue along the length of Tessa’s folds. “Fuck.” Her head fell back. Hips bucked as I put a little more pressure behind my tongue. “Mariah…” A throaty moan escaped the musician as my tongue entered her. I groaned feeling Tessa’s fingers tangle in my hair. Tugging, she chanted my name. Trying desperately to hold on as long as she could. Tossing her legs over my shoulders, I pulled her against me. Grinding, Tessa’s legs began to shake. “Ffffffffuuuuuu.” Digging my nails into creamy thighs had Tessa coming undone. “FUCK, MARIAH! OH, GOD! YES!”

Soon, Tessa’s grip in my hair loosened and eventually her hand fell to the side. Untangling myself, I kissed each thigh and went to sit beside the trembling woman. “I love you.” Brushing hair out of the musician’s face, I leaned down to kiss her.

“Love you too.” Cupping my cheek, Tessa smiled sleepily. “Let me regain the use of my legs and I’ll finish getting undressed and we can go to bed.”

“So, I can fall asleep in the best possible way?”

Dark brows creased. “Naked?”

“No.” I laughed. “In your arms.”

xxx

         The few extra days in Madison were enjoyable. Having Tessa to myself was great. Since the roads are bad in GC, Tessa and I worked from home. She worked on new music while I edited and posted to the GC Buzz website. It was nice not having Hilary breathing down my neck the entire time. Feeling a tension, I stopped typing. “Everything okay?”

          Picking at strings, Tessa debated. “Before we went to Madison, you brought up moving in together…”

          Closing my laptop, I turned towards the nervous musician. “I stand by my answer. I still want to live together. I know staying in a hotel is different than this apartment but, being together there proved to me that I want to stay with you.” I paused, my cheeks starting to burn. “I’ve been dreading coming back because I wouldn’t be in the same space with you like we were.”

          “Really?” A slow smile made its way to Tessa’s face.

          “Yes. I love you, Tessa. I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I realized that when you lived at Sharon’s.”

          “I think I picked up on that…but I was the same way.” A soft blush tinted her cheeks. “I enjoyed falling asleep near you. Even when I choked myself the next morning by breathing in your hair.”

          Looking outside, the snow was still coming down. “Sadly, we can’t go pack now.” _Normally, I love snow but not right now._

          “You really do want to move in here, don’t you?” Tessa chuckled placing her guitar on the stand. “Make it your home.”

          “It’s always been my home because you’re here.” Taking the woman’s hand, I guided Tessa to straddle my lap.

          “Is that so?” Peering down at me, a half smile playing at her lips. Taking my chin, she kissed me softly. “I can’t wait to have you here fulltime.” Kissing down my neck, Tessa hummed.

          “What?”

          “Wanna act like kids?” She leaned back, a cheerful twinkle in green eyes.

          “Why do I think I’ll regret saying yes?”

          “You won’t regret it.” Standing, Tessa walked towards the closet. “Get your coat and gloves on. We’re going outside.”

          “It’s thirty degrees out. Are you crazy?” _She’s so excited about the snow. Like a kid on Christmas day._

          “That’s why they make coats.” Tossing mine, Tessa beamed. “Let’s go! I’ll make hot chocolate when we get back in.”

          “Okay. Okay.” Sliding into my coat, I buttoned it.

          “Don’t play coy with me.” Her eyes narrowed. “You love fresh snow too. Next time, we’ll make snow cream.” After putting on her gloves, Tessa wrapped a scarf around my shoulders to pull me close. “We won’t stay out too long.” A smirk played at her lips. “I promise.” Kissing me, Tessa pulled me fully against her.  

          “Mmhmm. Just until we’re nearly frozen to death?” I laughed as Tessa scoffed. “I’m not complaining. Once we come back inside, we can watch movies, cuddled on the couch for warmth, and drink hot chocolate. Sadly, we don’t have my favorite blanket.”

          “The one that looks like a yard sale reject? Yeah, that won’t be coming here.”

          “You love that blanket and you know it. It’s so soft and warm.” I paused. “You stole it all the time when we used it.”

          “No, I did not.” Tessa opened the door.

          “Bullshit.”

          Once outside, a joyful innocence filled me seeing the fresh snow falling around us. Skipping around, Tessa looked up letting the flakes hit her face. _She’s so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?_ Pulling out my phone, I captured a few shots as the wind blew her hair.

          “You going to stand there all day or are you going to join me?” Putting my phone away, I was about to reply. Only to have a snowball hit me in the chest. “Bull’s eye!”

          “Did you seriously just throw a snowball at me?” Tessa grinned, forming another ball in her hands. “Fine. Two can play at that game!” Dodging the on slot of snow, I threw a few of my own. Laughter rang through the trees as we continued our battle.

          “Okay! Okay! I give!” Tessa held out her hand from behind a tree. “I forfeit.”

          “Really?” I approached with caution. “Why?”

          Poking her head out, much like a squirrel, she smiled. “I’m freezing! And I really want to cuddle.”

          Snorting a laugh, I tossed the snowball against a tree. “Sounds good to me.” Green eyes narrowed in my direction. “Honest.” I held up both hands in a truce.

          “I’ll make hot chocolate while you pick a movie.” Wrapping her arms around me, Tessa kissed my cheek. “Hold on.” Pulling out her phone, she snapped a few pictures of her own. “For the fans?”

          “Don’t lie. You just want cute pictures of us.”

          “That too.” She paused. “But all pictures of you are cute. Unless they’re supposed to be sexy. Then…well…not so much.”


	5. Chapter 5

Entering the cottage, I looked around for Sharon. “Mom? You here?”

“Kitchen.” She called. “Is Tessa with you?”

“Mariah! Tessa!” Faith almost knocked us over as she wrapped us each in a hug.

          “Yes…” My voice trailed. “Hey, Faith. Out of school today?”

          “Yup! Snow day!”

         Becoming nervous, Tessa and I shared a glance. “Why do you ask if Tessa’s here?”

          “I made enough lunch for everyone.” Exiting the kitchen, Sharon smiled. “You two look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong?”

          “Nothing’s wrong.” I bit my lip. “We’ve got some news.”

          “Oh? What is it?”

          “I’m moving in with Tessa. I know it’s sudden but…I want to live with her.”

          A slow smile made its way to my mother’s face. “I’m happy for you. There’re boxes already in your room.”

          “What?” Tessa and I spoke in unison.

          “While you were gone, I got empty moving boxes for you. I knew it was coming soon. The two of you have been inseparable. Tessa staying here half the week and you staying there the other half. Rarely have you been apart at night. It’s unsettling going from sleeping beside someone and then not. I knew once the topic was brought up, and you spent time together outside of GC, you’d probably move in together after you got back. I just wanted to help.” Tessa and I stared dumbfounded. “Lunch is ready. Grab a plate and dig in.”

          For the most part, lunch was quiet. Both of us were trying to mull over why Sharon was being so cool with this whole thing. _She has plenty of reasons to not trust or like Tessa but she’s fine with me being with her. Sharon tries not to judge people because of her past, but she’s also a mom. A mom of two kids who were hurt by Tessa. Granted, yes, Tessa fought for me but still…_

          “Mariah, if you think any harder, smoke may come out of your ears. Just saying.” Faith grinned.

          “She’s got a point, Mariah.” Tessa kidded.

          “You’re honestly okay with this?” I studied my mother with skepticism.

          “I’ll miss you and so with Faith but I know you love Tessa. And you’ll both still be around here a lot. I just won’t see you first thing in the morning.”

          “Which is almost a blessing. Mariah is pretty grouchy before coffee.” Tessa elbowed me gently.

          “Whose side are you on? Besides, you’re the same way.” I tried not to laugh at my girlfriend’s expression. _Damn that half smile._

          “You’re dating her. You know what you’ve gotten into.” Tessa choked on her drink while I just turned a deep crimson. “What? What did I say?” Sharon paused. “Ooooohhh.”

          “What?” Faith was oblivious.

          “NOTHING!” The three of us answered quickly.

          After lunch, Tessa and I went to pack. Pushing open the door, we were alarmed by the number of boxes. “Okay…if all these boxes are filled…we may have to get a bigger apartment for your stuff.”

          “They won’t all be filled!” I swatted the musician’s shoulder. “Most of my clothes are at our place already.” Starting to pack, I noticed Tessa hadn’t moved. _She’s smiling. Why does she look like she’s about to cry? Did I say something?_ “What’s that look?”

          “You called it “our place” like it was something you’ve said a thousand times.” Cupping my face, Tessa caressed my cheek with her thumb. “It means so much to me that you consider it our home.” Placing a tender kiss on my lips, one of Tessa’s hands moved into my hair.

          Groaning, I whined. “Not the scalp massage. Faith and Mom are downstairs. If you do that we’ll never get out of here.”

          “Fine.” Kissing my cheek, Tessa stepped back. “Let’s get you packed.” Walking towards the dresser, she started on the top drawer. “Do I need to pack these a certain way or just neatly in the box?”

          “Just neatly. We can figure stuff out when we get home. This is probably going to become another guest room so we have to leave the furniture.”

          We worked in a comfortable silence. Tessa packing the dresser and bookshelf while I worked on the closet and what was left of my shoes. I chuckled when I noticed my blanket in one of the boxes. “I thought you said that wasn’t coming home with us?”

          “Huh?” Realizing what I meant, Tessa tried to come up with a plausible explanation. “Oh, I mean, you really like it. I don’t know why but you do. So, I just packed it to…” Her voice trailed off as I stepped closer.

I kept her between myself and the now empty dresser. “Just to make me happy, huh?”

          Having nowhere to go, Tessa smiled sheepishly. “Yeah…”

          Taking hold of her scarf, I pulled her in for a kiss. “You love that blanket too.”

          “I’ll never admit to that.”

          The hardest part was taking the boxes down to my car and loading them. Thankfully, they all fit in the backseat. “Alright. I’m all packed.” I stood in the foyer, looking around the place I once called home.

          “This will always be your home away from home.” Wrapping me in a strong embrace, Sharon tried keeping it together. “I love you, Mariah.”

          “I’m not going off to die!” I laughed. “I live twenty minutes away. Thirty-five in traffic.”

          “I know. It’s a mother thing.” Stepping back, it was Faith’s turn for hugs.

          “When everything gets set up, we’ll have you over for girl’s night. I’ll still be around here all the time. Just not first thing in the morning.”

          “I know. And eventually, Tessa will become Aunt Tessa.”

          “Ooookkaaayyyy. Jumping ahead a bit.” Tessa twitched. “Let’s…uh…” Clearing her throat, she stammered. “I’m going to go warm the car.” Snorting, I watched as the frazzled musician sprinted towards the car.

          “Did I say something wrong?”

          “No, Faith. You didn’t. Marriage just isn’t for us right now. In the future, yes. But we’re still getting to know one another. We’re just moving from “dating” to “living together.””

          “Okay.”

          “Let’s not bring up the “Aunt Tessa” thing up again though. It’s kind of freaking Tessa out.”

          “But not you?”

          Before I could answer, the front door swung open. “Why’s Tessa outside in the car?” _Oh, God. Noah. He’s never going to let us live this down._ “She seemed a little freaked.”

          “I said she was going to be “Aunt Tessa” soon.”

          His brow rose. “I knew you were moving in together but marriage too? Dang, Sis.”

          “We’re not getting married.” I paused. “Right now. Why aren’t you at work? You could have helped us carry boxes.”

          “I had a meeting with Dad about the new locations. I can help unload at your place.”

          “Sounds good. Those stairs are killer. Just follow us.”

          “Got it. I’ll be back soon, Mom.”

          “Drive safe! Both of you!”

          Climbing into the car, it was nice and toasty. “Noah’s helping us with the boxes at our place.”

          “Oh, God. He’s going to pick on us, isn’t he?” Tessa started to drive.

          “It comes with the territory of siblings.” I waited until we were on the main road to finish. “He knows about “Aunt Tessa” too.”

          Groaning, Tessa tried to laugh. “He’s going to milk that for a long time.”

          “Of course, he will.”

          Arriving at our apartment, each of us carried a box. Noah tried to be all macho and get more than one but failed. “I told you to lift with your legs.” Smirking, I closed the car door with my hip.

          “Shut up, Mariah.” Noah braced himself against the wall as he ascended the stairs. “What’s in this box anyway? It can’t be shoes or clothes.”

          “Books.” Tessa and I spoke in unison.

          “You could have warned me!”

          “And not get revenge for the jokes you’re obviously going to make?” Tessa scoffed. “Not a chance.”

          Entering the apartment, Tessa and I put our boxes in the bedroom. Noah dropped his near the couch. “Not fair. Not fair at all.”

          It didn’t take long for us to bring up all the boxes. Falling on the couch, Noah and Tessa groaned. “Who wants a hard cider?” Opening the fridge, I pulled out two knowing that Tessa would want one.

          “Sure. Angry Orchard, right?” Noah looked back at me.

          “Yup. Apple Crisp.” Taking the three cans to the living room, I plopped down between my girlfriend and my brother. “Here you go. Thanks for helping us, Noah.”

          “Welcome.” Taking a long sip, he relaxed. “Nice place. Last time I saw it, Mariah hadn’t put her touch on it.”

          “You told me she would.” Tessa smiled, bumping her shoulder into mine.

          “Will you two just kiss already? I know it’s happened.” Tessa and I stared at my brother. “Honestly, I’m glad the two of you are happy together.”

          “Okay…” Tessa leaned in but stopped. “It’s too awkward.”

          “Not for me.” Grabbing the woman’s face, I kissed her. _Your brother’s here. Your brother’s here. Your brother’s here. Don’t let this get too passionate._ Pulling back, I smiled triumphantly seeing the soft blush on Tessa’s cheeks. “Okay, yeah, that was awkward.”

          Noah burst out laughing. “Family gatherings will be a blast if the two of you don’t get over this shy thing.” He grinned. “Especially if you get caught under mistletoe around Christmas.” After finishing his cider, Noah left us to unpack.

          As I unpacked my clothes, I felt strong hands on my hips. “Hey, you.” Glancing back, I smiled.

          “Hi.” Brushing hair off my neck, Tessa dipped her head to place featherlike kisses.

          “Mmm that tickles…” _I’m not going to be able to unpack this with her hands on me and those lips…_

          “Oh, I’m sorry.” She purred into my ear. Untucking my shirt, Tessa let her hands wander along my sides. Teasing me, her fingertips brushed along the swell of my breasts.  

          “No, you’re not.” I shivered feeling nails rake down my sides.

          “You’re right. I’m not.” A dark chuckle vibrated the musician’s throat as she continued her venture of my shoulder and neck. Swiftly, Tessa pushed the plaid shirt down my shoulders revealing my tank top. “I love that you layer these under most things. It gives me perfect access and keeps you clothed if anyone interrupts.”

          Turning in Tessa’s arms, I wrapped my arms around her neck. “As much as I’d love to stay, I need to go shortly. Hilary texted me demanding we have a GC Buzz meeting.” Grumbling, Tessa pouted. “Meeting now. Make out later.”

          “I’ll hold you to that.” She smirked.

          “I’m sure you will.” Pecking the woman’s lips, I stepped away to fix my shirt. “A less irritated Hilary means I get more time with you.”

          During the meeting, Hilary dropped the bomb that she was selling the show back to Devon. We would all keep our jobs but would now belong to HWG. Noticing my phone light up, I glanced at the text message from Tessa.

          _I’m done unpacking your clothes. We’ll need to have a conversation about a certain lingerie set that I’ve never seen before… -T_

_Still in the meeting. Yes, we’ll discuss that later. -M_

_Maybe with wine and chocolate syrup…-T_

_Oh, shut up. -M_

_You shut up -T_

_Make me -M_

_I will…But you might moan a little… -T_

          “Mariah!” Jumping, I flipped my phone face down and gave Hilary my attention. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

          “Nope. Just something going on at home.” _Shit! I feel like a kid getting caught doing something wrong. Well, borderline sexting your girlfriend during a work meeting could be counted as something wrong._

          “Unless Tessa is dying, it can wait. Okay, back to the new contracts.”

          _I knew she’d find that bag eventually. I was hoping to spring it on her like she did me in the hotel. At least now she’ll have to sit and think about me wearing that for a while._

          Once the meeting was over, I darted out the door when I was no longer needed. Entering the apartment, I looked around. Tessa was nowhere to be found. “Honey, I’m home.” Hearing a wholesome laugh from the bedroom, I followed suit. “I couldn’t help it. I’ve always wanted to say that.” Crawling onto the bed, I laid beside Tessa as she wrote lyrics.

“You always make fun of the cheesy romantic stuff and yet you love it.” Leaning down, Tessa kissed me. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I made fun of it because I never had someone to share it with.” I drew lazy shapes on Tessa’s knee. “Now, I have someone.”

“Mmhmm. You do indeed.” Closing the notebook, Tessa moved to lay facing me.

“You didn’t have to stop writing. I know Devon wants new stuff on a regular basis.”

          “I have plenty of time to write during the day when you’re at work. When you’re home,” Tessa cupped my cheek. “You’re my soul focus.” Pressing a gentle kiss on my forehead, she stroked my cheek.

“How did I get so unbelievably lucky?”

“I should be the one asking that question.” A soft smile graced the musician’s face. Sighing, I snuggled into the taller woman. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

          “Nothing.” I paused, biting my lip.

          “Mariah, you can tell me.” Tucking a stray hair behind my ear, she tried coaxing me. “Just breathe and say it.”  

“Can we make a promise, that no matter what, we never go to sleep angry at each other? If something happens and we walk out to get air, we always come back.”

“Both of us have had it rough. I’m sure we’ll argue after the honeymoon phase ends but,” Tessa met my gaze fully. “Yes. I will make you that promise. If you will also.”

“I will.”

“Good.” Closing the gap between us, Tessa captured my lips in a tender kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who read and reviewed this story!
> 
> An amazing follower of mine created this petition trying to get me a seat at the writer's table of The Young and The Restless. If you've read my Teriah famfiction and enjoy it, consider signing the petition.
> 
> https://www.change.org/p/anthony-morina-let-s-get-the-fanfiction-queen-to-become-a-soap-writing-queen?recruiter=940221038&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=share_petition&recruited_by_id=67b7ef50-3eae-11e9-b3c6-c153b0ace30a

**Author's Note:**

> Some scenes and dialog used from canon. What Tessa said at the end (soulmate) was found here: http://youtu.be/oNmMAoJssVk  
> Song used: “Naked” by Avril Lavigne


End file.
